Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

Fictional Fucking Is So Much Neater Than the Real Thing

Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn’t find it. They don’t sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I’m saving some of them to read on the plane ride.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: caySAYhey

I Think They Even Did Splits!

Large lady in elevator to another: The kids brought back this DVD, they said it was PG-13… Well they started it up and it was raunchy! It had cheerleaders in it and god knows what else.

–Majestic Beach Towers, Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Heading to Blockbusters to find that DVD!

This Is What Happens When We Don’t Bring the Electric Collar

Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, finding Molly sitting quietly: Oh, there you are.

–Lewes Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: maybe next time, take Molly with you

Drinking Vacations Can Be Fun, Too

Tan woman: Did you pack a swimsuit?
Pale woman: Yes, I always do.
Tan woman: So you’ll go to the beach?
Pale woman: I have packed the same suit for my last five summer vacations, it still has the tags on it. What do you think the odds are?

–Emerald Isle Ferry, Michigan

Overheard by: i’m surrounded by water, isn’t that enough