Girl, carrying piece of kelp to dad: This can be my pet until we get a doggie!
–Hermosa Beach, California
Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category
But Then You Could Tuck Your Shorts under Them
Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I.S.
How You Know That Phrase Has Officially Peaked
Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!“
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That’s what she said.
–Balboa, California
Can Ground Pigs’ Rectum Ever Really Spoil?
Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…
–Lake Tahoe, California
Like Cock
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
I Wonder If He Realizes He’ll Never Go Back?
Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick!
–Robert Moses, New York
Overheard by: Zep
Brown?
Guido: I really wanna get a tan today.
Bored girl: Sure.
Guido: Do you think there’s enough sun to get a tan today?
Bored girl: I don’t know. Maybe.
Guido: Will going in the water help me get a tan?
Bored girl: It might.
Guido: I really wanna get tan.
Bored girl: So where are you going to college?
–Coney Island
Craig Learns That Some Things Only Sound Like Fun
Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I’m gonna piss all over your pussy.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
How the High-Five Originally Developed
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
No, But Did I Say I Want to Go There?
Latina #1: I wanna go to Italy.
Latina #2: Girl, you don’t even know how to spell “Italy.“
Latina #1: Well…do you?
–Smiths Point, New York
Overheard by: suzz
