Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category

If On­ly There weren’t Such a Gru­el­ing Ap­pli­ca­tion Process

Chick: Do you guys live here?
Guy #1: Yep, right over there.
Chick: And what about you?
Guy #2: No, I don’t live here.
Chick: Where do you live?
Guy #2: Every­where. I’m a hobo.
Chick: No, you’re not.
Guy #2: Yes, I’m a hobo. I sleep on the beach, and I eat out of trash cans. I’m a hobo.
Chick: I want to be a hobo.

–San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Su­per­charg­er

And Ter­ror­ists Are Da Bomb.

Eight-year-old boy to ran­dom adult: I want to be a ter­ror­ist just like my grand­pa!
Shocked ran­dom adult: Would­n’t you rather be a po­lice of­fi­cer or a Texas Ranger or some­thing?
Eight-year-old boy: No. They don’t get paaaaaid!

–New Smyr­na Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Rachel Marie

Your Ed­i­tors Have Paid Ex­tra for Tit­ty Gum– True Sto­ry

Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
An­noy­ing girl: Yeah, I do… You can’t have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don’t want that! It’s tit­ty gum.
An­noy­ing girl: It’s not tit­ty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your tit­ties?
Brunette girl, look­ing down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!