Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category

An Over­abun­dance of Sand and Sun, for One Thing

Long Is­land wife: Shawn! Shawn, you id­iot, your son wants to come swim­ming with you!
Long Is­land hus­band: Did you just call me an id­iot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so up­set she starts packing.]Long Is­land hus­band: What are you do­ing? You said you want­ed to go to the beach to­day!
Long Is­land wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fuck­ing sucks!

–West Palm Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: sat near them on the plane go­ing home two days lat­er, too

“Have You Seen the Tran­ny Man, the Tran­ny Man, the Tran­ny Man?”

20-some­thing girl: Guys, did you see the man in the wom­an’s swim­suit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-some­thing girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a dis­tance he could to­tal­ly pass as a flat chick.
20-some­thing girl: He can re­al­ly pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glass­es and every­thing.
Teen girl #2: Where’s the tran­ny man? I want to see the tran­ny man!

–La Jol­la, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: La Jol­lan