Sailor #1, in bathroom: Ew! I saw your dick!
Sailor #2: Ew! You wish!
–Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: disturbed roommate
Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category
“Book Smart,” I Should’ve Said
Woman to another, trying to get support to protect the seals: Yeah, my daughter’s friend wants to be a marine biologist. She is so smart.
Daughter’s friend, in confused voice: Hey, I got gum on my camera.
–Children’s Beach, La Jolla, California
Want Some Pot?
Camp counselor: Hurry up, or you’ll be left behind!
Kid: Then I’d get to stay here. Awesome!
Camp counselor: Frankly, it’s my last day, so I really don’t care.
–Third Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Bored Beyond the Beach
Now That I Have This Inconvenient Infection
Teenage girl: So I’ve decided not to be a slut anymore.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
What? The Tide Carries It Away!
Man to wife and daughter: Hey! I’ve shat my pants before and it really wasn’t that bad, so I’d be willing to do it again.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
You’d Still Have a Hard Time Scoring
Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.
–San Francisco, California
Overheard by: so not PC
There’s a Fucking Version? My Life Is Complete!
Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet-looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
It’s Already Mastered “Sit.”
Girl, carrying piece of kelp to dad: This can be my pet until we get a doggie!
–Hermosa Beach, California
The San Francisco Lisp More Than Makes Up For Those Cool Accents the Aussies Have
Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.
–Mission Bay, San Diego, California
Sometimes the Cure’s Worse Than the Disease, Though
Beach guy #1: We need to find some slutty girls tonight.
Beach guy #2: Yeah, sluts are great for hangovers.
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jellyfish Jaq
