Activist #1: Hey girls, want to save the world together?
Girl #1: Ummmm…
Activist #2: Do you like our planet?
Girl #2: Eh, I’ve been to better. Thanks, but no thanks.
–Seal Beach, California
Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category
If Anything Comes Off, Just Put It Back
Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Arlene M Franks
Grandma’s Still on Probation
Grandmother to two small children near cliff: Only one of you at a time, I don’t want to be responsible for two small children falling off the cliff.
–Fort Williams Park, Maine
…Since, Technically, It’s Thesis Research.
Blonde girl on cell: That’s not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn’t care.
–Los Angeles, California
Um, That’s Driftwood
Mother to toddler in wetsuit: Look! There’s a naked baby! Do you wanna be naked and play with the naked baby? Let’s go meet the naked baby.
–Lake Beach, Maine
There’s a Fucking Version? My Life Is Complete!
Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet-looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Must Be Cracker Mating Season
Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor-blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.
–Siesta Beach, Florida
Because Then Who Would Guard Our Ice Cream While We Stole New Towels?
Girl: I hope nobody stole our towels while we were stealing ice cream.
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ali and Livi
But If That’s One Of the PTA Requirements…
Overweight mother: I don’t want to be a gladiator!
–Ocean City, Maryland
We Know That Spidey-Sense Well
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
