College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
Tired-looking mother: Alice! Heel!
–Hunstanton, England
Overheard by: Dan
Cop, pointing to trash can filled rim with beer and alcohol bottles: Are all of these yours?
Tall man, pointing to one lone bottle: Well, that one's not mine.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Little kid on the beach: Ew! It smells like the ocean!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: Megan
Blonde teen: You know that woman we saw at Ikea last year, the one that was like, massively, explosively pregnant?
Brunette teen: Yeah?
Blonde teen: Well I've been wondering…
Brunette teen: If she's had her baby yet?
Blonde teen: No, I wonder if she named her baby “Ikea.”
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Jedda
Teen girl to teen boy: Well, it ain't gonna lick itself!
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Guy to woman: I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown like you did, and I'm not going to have irritable bowl syndrome like John. I'm going to visit mom less often.
–Manhattan Beach, New York
Guy #1: He had his keys on the table, and a squirrel took 'em.
Guy #2: Hehehe!
Guy #1: A squirrel!
–Pacifica, California
Overheard by: M.E.
Teen girl: What'cha doing, dad?
Father: Staring at the cow.
Teen girl (looking ahead): Where?
Father: In the water.
Teen girl (frantically looking at the sea): Where?!
Father: In my imagination.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: amused book-reader