Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!
–Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Arianne
Archive for the ‘Weirdness’ Category
Remember When The Tree Had Real Candles?
Salty sea dog: And the new LED Christmas lights? They’ll never burn down your Christmas tree. You’ll have to do that yourself.
–Morro Bay, California
Overheard by: Colin
If I’m to Believe Your Hand
Girl: Wait, so I’m cheating on you… with myself?!
Guy: Exactly!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Present Company Excepted, Of Course
Bedraggled female peddler to another: Man, of all of the spots I’ve had here I’ve never seen so many lowlifes congregated around one place.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Gary & Nadja
Um, That’s Driftwood
Mother to toddler in wetsuit: Look! There’s a naked baby! Do you wanna be naked and play with the naked baby? Let’s go meet the naked baby.
–Lake Beach, Maine
Tonight’s Movie: The Endless Bummer
Mom (to son #1): That’s not all you’re carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you’ll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Four Being the Tipping Point for Homosexuality
Naked guy #1: My girlfriend thinks it’s weird that you and I come here every weekend.
Naked guy #2: Why? Did you tell her Mike and Rob come too?
Naked guy #1: Nah dude, I don’t want her to think we’re gay.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Superhero Steely Dan Had a Modest Jamaican Boyhood
Boy: Mom! I want a wooden penis!
Mom: You have one already.
Boy: Then I want a metal penis!
Dad: Actually, that might come in handy.
–Dolphin Cove, Jamaica
Overheard by: bea arthur
The Partial-Birth Ones Are to Die for
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
In His Prison Locker
Niece: I can’t find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it’s with my wedding ring.
–Rio Del Mar Beach, California
