Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin’ staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He’s giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it.
–Ocean Beach, California
Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I’m sweating like a fat chick!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Lilian
Tall skinny blonde with small Yorkie in her lap: I think she’s become a better person since I’ve been friends with her.
–LaJolla, California
Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!
–Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Arianne
Salty sea dog: And the new LED Christmas lights? They’ll never burn down your Christmas tree. You’ll have to do that yourself.
–Morro Bay, California
Overheard by: Colin
Girl: Wait, so I’m cheating on you… with myself?!
Guy: Exactly!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Bedraggled female peddler to another: Man, of all of the spots I’ve had here I’ve never seen so many lowlifes congregated around one place.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Gary & Nadja
Mother to toddler in wetsuit: Look! There’s a naked baby! Do you wanna be naked and play with the naked baby? Let’s go meet the naked baby.
–Lake Beach, Maine
Mom (to son #1): That’s not all you’re carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you’ll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
