Woman on boardwalk: Yesterday was a bad day. A dead dog washed up on the shore.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
Way Too Old For You
20-something guy: Hey, how old are you?
Young girl: I’m fifteen.
20-something guy, looking over to friend: Exactly my point.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
You Know She Likes Fish
Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
You’ve Seen the Snoopy Cartoons Where He Dresses As the Red Baron, No?
College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn’t fly away!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
What Happens When You Have Aunts Who Haven’t Seen You in a While
Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Every Buddy Film, Encapsulated.
Guy standing at window: I love tit-ass!
Guy on boardwalk: Fuck yeah!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Roomate
Time to Go Back in the Water, Sweetie
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Women’s Locker Rooms Are Wasted on Straight Chicks
Petite blonde with small breasts: I have my own boobs… I don’t care about anyone else’s boobs.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Also the Idea behind Lifesavers Candy
Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I’m choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I’m breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Assuming You Aren’t Consistently Pregnant
16-year-old clerk to man buying tampons: Those for you? (snickers)
Tampon-buying man: No, I have a wife. Don’t worry, one day when you are all grown up, you will need these too.
–Grocery Store, Virginia Beach, Virginia
