Girl #1: Yeah, it’s totally going to be my de-mice.
Girl #2: De-mice?
Girl #1: De-meese?
Girl #2: What? Demise?
Girl #1: Whatever.
–Virginia Beach
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
No, Let’s Talk More about the Cheese
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.
–Virginia Beach
Your Father Couldn’t Find My Bottom with Both Hands
Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
That’s the Last Time I’ll Chug Non-Alcoholic Beer
Frat boy: Dude! I got so drunk last night that I got a temporary tattoo!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jon
If You Cunt Pronounce It Correctly, Keep Your Mouth Shit
Three-year-old girl: I love the bitch!
Mother: Did you just say ‘bitch’? You can’t say that! It’s beach.
Three-year-old girl: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Mother, exasperated: I can hear you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jess
Does Anyone?
Excessively tan man: I don’t trust SPF 14 anyway.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jo
Way Too Old For You
20-something guy: Hey, how old are you?
Young girl: I’m fifteen.
20-something guy, looking over to friend: Exactly my point.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Every Buddy Film, Encapsulated.
Guy standing at window: I love tit-ass!
Guy on boardwalk: Fuck yeah!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Roomate
Eat it! Eat It, You Round-Eyed Son of a Bitch!
Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sheph
Detached Redundancies Are For People Under the Age of 20
Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I hate shoobies.
