Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
Every Buddy Film, Encapsulated.
Guy standing at window: I love tit-ass!
Guy on boardwalk: Fuck yeah!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Roomate
Time to Go Back in the Water, Sweetie
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Women's Locker Rooms Are Wasted on Straight Chicks
Petite blonde with small breasts: I have my own boobs… I don't care about anyone else's boobs.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Also the Idea behind Lifesavers Candy
Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I’m choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I’m breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Assuming You Aren't Consistently Pregnant
16-year-old clerk to man buying tampons: Those for you? (snickers)
Tampon-buying man: No, I have a wife. Don't worry, one day when you are all grown up, you will need these too.
–Grocery Store, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
…Is the Title Of My New Documentary.
Guy at table full of intently listening people: Imagine 50 pounds of animal defecating inside your house! That's a lot of shit!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Making Me the Perfect Complement to Any Outfit
College kid: But I was conceived in Florida, so that means I'm neutral!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
STI's Don't Discriminate, Dear Reader
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: I'm still dripping.
Hot 20-year-old guy #2: Dude, you banged that chick like a month ago and you're still dripping?
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: Dude, duh! She was Latina!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia