16-year-old clerk to man buying tampons: Those for you? (snickers)
Tampon-buying man: No, I have a wife. Don’t worry, one day when you are all grown up, you will need these too.
–Grocery Store, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
Women’s Locker Rooms Are Wasted on Straight Chicks
Petite blonde with small breasts: I have my own boobs… I don’t care about anyone else’s boobs.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
What Happens When You Have Aunts Who Haven’t Seen You in a While
Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
*Gasp*
30-something blonde: I was really calm, which is such a feat for me. Especially this day, since I had just bought an ice cream cone and the bottom of the cone was all soggy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
You’ve Seen the Snoopy Cartoons Where He Dresses As the Red Baron, No?
College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn’t fly away!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Then It Won’t Bother You So Much When I Lick My Anus
Preppy girl: Just close your eyes and envision me as a black lab puppy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
How Men Learn Not to Confide in Women
Old lady #1: He told me he has never lasted more than three minutes with anyone!
Old lady #2: Really?? That poor, poor woman of his. No wonder she got a boob job and bites her nails so much.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
…Aiight?
Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you ‘ask’ someone, you have a question. When you ‘axe’ someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
That’s Not What “Swimmers Will Be Penalized” Means, Bobby.
Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!
–Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: commodore
You Know She Likes Fish
Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
