Teenage girl: I love carbs! I would marry them if eating your spouse was legal!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
STI’s Don’t Discriminate, Dear Reader
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: I’m still dripping.
Hot 20-year-old guy #2: Dude, you banged that chick like a month ago and you’re still dripping?
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: Dude, duh! She was Latina!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Ooo, Them’s Fighting Words!
Teen to friend: That boy doesn’t know his bivalves from his crustaceans.
–Colonial Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I love me some bivalves AND crustaceans
Now Let’s Get Drunk and Go Swimming!
Loud girl to friend: Man, people is stupid!
Friend: I know, right!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Such a Small Area, So Many Problems
20-something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn’t go.
20-something girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20-something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Especially Not My Webcam Viewers
Person #1: I don’t want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why? We came all the way to the beach…
Person #1: It’s cold in the water.
Person #2: You were the one that wanted to come.
Person #1: Yes, but I didn’t want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why ever not?
Person #1: There are crabs in the water. I don’t want people to think I’m promiscuous.
–Plymouth Beach, Virginia
I Tried to Solve Both Problems by Eating Her
Big man: No, I never blamed my wife for me being fat. I blame her for me being a nympho… Not for being fat, though…
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
…Aiight?
Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you ‘ask’ someone, you have a question. When you ‘axe’ someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
*Gasp*
30-something blonde: I was really calm, which is such a feat for me. Especially this day, since I had just bought an ice cream cone and the bottom of the cone was all soggy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Take It Up with God, Lady.
Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it’s around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don’t you just have it at the same time every day?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
