Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it’s around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don’t you just have it at the same time every day?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it’s around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don’t you just have it at the same time every day?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!
–Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: commodore
Teen Girl: I can’t eat this ice cream.
Bruster’s Employee: Why not?
Teen Girl: Because it’s frozen in the middle.
Bruster’s Employee: It’s ice cream.
Teen Girl: I know, but it’s frozen in the middle and I can’t eat it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Drunk guy to girl: Hey, heeeeey. Sometimes I think about dolphins.
Girl (annoyed): Okay…
Drunk guy: Yes! See, they have sex for pleasure, like humans.
(girl giggles and walks away with friends)
–Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia
Girl on cell: Hey! I’m having a barbecue tonight! You should totally come over to my place and drink juice. And by “juice,” I mean sooodaaaa.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Woman on boardwalk: Yesterday was a bad day. A dead dog washed up on the shore.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
20-something guy: Hey, how old are you?
Young girl: I’m fifteen.
20-something guy, looking over to friend: Exactly my point.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn’t fly away!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist