Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I’m choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I’m breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Guy standing at window: I love tit-ass!
Guy on boardwalk: Fuck yeah!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Roomate
Girl #1: Yeah, it's totally going to be my de-mice.
Girl #2: De-mice?
Girl #1: De-meese?
Girl #2: What? Demise?
Girl #1: Whatever.
–Virginia Beach
Drunk guy to drunk friends: I love you from the base of my penis!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Allison
Three-year-old girl: I love the bitch!
Mother: Did you just say ‘bitch’? You can’t say that! It’s beach.
Three-year-old girl: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Mother, exasperated: I can hear you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jess
Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you 'ask' someone, you have a question. When you 'axe' someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Husband: Babe, we need to pick up another 12 pack and then go get the kids.
Wife: Finish your beer first.
–Chick’s Beach, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
Teenage girl: I love carbs! I would marry them if eating your spouse was legal!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia