Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: … Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
–Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There’s nothing like lab in the field
Guy on cell: Dude, you gotta come down here…I’m about to jump in the ocean and scream at the universe and I want you to help me! (pause) Okay, yeah, send the brown people down.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: beach*blonde
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Bimbo #1, happily: It’s so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Emmy
Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.
–Antigua, the Caribbean
Overheard by: Ollie
Daughter, holding crab: Oh, daddy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Father: No, honey, it’s too small.
Daughter: No, daddy, I want it for a pet.
Father: It has to live in the ocean, honey. We have to let it go.
Daughter: But, daddy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Father: No, baby.
Daughter: Daddy?
Father: Yes, honey?
Daughter: Can I step on it?
–Goleta Beach, California
Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.
–Beaufort, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wish I had that logic.…
Drunk camper: If that dude actually comes back with a fish and starts slapping people with it, I’m leaving this island. That is just way more intensity than I am prepared to deal with.
–Lake George, New York
Overheard by: Sneaker
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
