Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category

She Thinks the War in Iraq Is Just Dar­ling

Woman #1: Oh my good­ness, you should see your daugh­ter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, re­al­ly?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eat­ing cher­ries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!

–Old Or­chard Beach, Maine

Over­heard by: shaw­shank

When Dad­dy Did That to Mom­my He Was Half-Kid­ding, Hon­ey

Daugh­ter, hold­ing crab: Oh, dad­dy, it’s so cute. Can I keep it?
Fa­ther: No, hon­ey, it’s too small.
Daugh­ter: No, dad­dy, I want it for a pet.
Fa­ther: It has to live in the ocean, hon­ey. We have to let it go.
Daugh­ter: But, dad­dy, I love it. Can’t I keep it?
Fa­ther: No, ba­by.
Daugh­ter: Dad­dy?
Fa­ther: Yes, hon­ey?
Daugh­ter: Can I step on it?

–Go­le­ta Beach, Cal­i­for­nia