Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category

Her Tat Ac­tu­al­ly Says ‘Stay the Hell Out’

Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her coot­er right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twen­ty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You’re on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tat­too above your vagi­na that says ‘Come on in.‘
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don’t. That’s what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I’ll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You’ll for­get. Do it now. No one’s watch­ing. [Jill low­ers her biki­ni bot­tom.] I’m go­ing to tell that per­son to stop telling lies about you.

–Des­tin, Flori­da

You Should Start a Sup­port Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hook­ing up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets every­where!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *every­where*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagi­na!

–Naples, Flori­da

Dude, I Think She’s Ad­ver­tis­ing!

Pre­teen boy #1, whis­per­ing to pal: Dude! Look at that girl ly­ing over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Pre­teen boy #2, whis­per­ing back: Qui­et… Damn!
Pre­teen boy #1: What’s that stick­ing out?
Pre­teen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Pre­teen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.

–Padre Is­land, Texas