Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida

Her Tat Actually Says 'Stay the Hell Out'

Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her cooter right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twenty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You’re on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tattoo above your vagina that says ‘Come on in.’
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don’t. That’s what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I’ll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You’ll forget. Do it now. No one’s watching. [Jill lowers her bikini bottom.] I’m going to tell that person to stop telling lies about you.

–Destin, Florida

What Happens When You Take Sex Ed in North Carolina

Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?

–Nags Head, North Carolina

And It's Self-Licking

White girl, about black girl’s cat in her lap: I love your cat! Scratch that… I love your pussy!
Black girl: Haha! Yes, my big, black pussy is awesome!
White girl: I love to stroke your pussy. It’s so soft.
Guy: Your pussy vibrates when you touch it! [Cat jumps away and goes to the window.]Black girl: Sometimes my pussy gets lonely and likes to go stare out the window.
Guy: Damn! Everyone can see your big, black pussy from that window! Shameful!
White girl: Maybe your pussy needs some attention.
Black girl: Nah! Nobody wants a black pussy!
White girl: That ain’t true! Lots of people do!
Black girl: No! Everyone loves a white pussy! … You should bring out yours.
White girl: My pussy isn’t white… It’s brown with orange speckles.
Guy: Ew!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly