Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida

Dude, I Think She's Advertising!

Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time.

–Padre Island, Texas

Also a Spare Key

Teen boy to friend: Don’t trust women — they have vaginas. It’s where they keep all their secrets and lies!

–Coney Island, New York

And It's Self-Licking

White girl, about black girl’s cat in her lap: I love your cat! Scratch that… I love your pussy!
Black girl: Haha! Yes, my big, black pussy is awesome!
White girl: I love to stroke your pussy. It’s so soft.
Guy: Your pussy vibrates when you touch it! [Cat jumps away and goes to the window.]Black girl: Sometimes my pussy gets lonely and likes to go stare out the window.
Guy: Damn! Everyone can see your big, black pussy from that window! Shameful!
White girl: Maybe your pussy needs some attention.
Black girl: Nah! Nobody wants a black pussy!
White girl: That ain’t true! Lots of people do!
Black girl: No! Everyone loves a white pussy! … You should bring out yours.
White girl: My pussy isn’t white… It’s brown with orange speckles.
Guy: Ew!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly