Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

By Every­one

14-year-old girl to group of friends: “yeah, vod­ka, man, that shit is strong. Like, 14 shots and I’m done.”

–Hunt­ing­ton Beach, CA

Lit­tle Richard: I’ll Pass, Thanks

Drunk big woman, gy­rat­ing in seat: Yeah, moth­er­fuck­ers, it’s tooty fruity booty! I got my drank on! Look at this tooty fruity booty! What the fuck they doin’ in that wa­ter? Don’tcha know who the fuck I am? I’m tooty fruity booty!

–Ocho Rios, Ja­maica

Over­heard by: sun­burn­tand­sit­tingnext­tothe­booty

There Aren’t Even Any Hy­po­der­mic Nee­dles!

Ig­no­rant yan­kee cunt: It’s ok here, I mean the guys are al­right but maybe a lit­tle too slow for me. But the beach is so clean and the wa­ter is too clear. You can see the fish and stuff.
Twin look­ing girl­friend: Yeah! I know what you mean.

–des­tin, fl

Over­heard by: da­vo

What’s More Flat­ter­ing Than Be­com­ing Whack­ing Ma­te­r­i­al?

Cute brunette in black biki­ni to boyfriend: Can we go? There’s a guy over there film­ing us.
Boyfriend: Where?
Brunette: Over there, in the white shorts. What a creep­er!
(a few min­utes af­ter)
Brunet­te’s fe­male friend: White shorts is go­ing in the wa­ter. I hope he gets his cam­era wet.
Brunette: It’s ac­tu­al­ly kin­da flat­ter­ing.
Boyfriend: First you’re all in­sult­ed, and now your flat­tered. Pfft!

–Beach, Chica­go, Illi­nois