Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Little Richard: I'll Pass, Thanks

Drunk big woman, gyrating in seat: Yeah, motherfuckers, it's tooty fruity booty! I got my drank on! Look at this tooty fruity booty! What the fuck they doin' in that water? Don'tcha know who the fuck I am? I'm tooty fruity booty!

–Ocho Rios, Jamaica

Overheard by: sunburntandsittingnexttothebooty

The Ice Loves Coco Episode You Won't Want to Miss

Boyfriend and girlfriend arguing at beach:
Short chunky girlfriend: "look at that blonde bitch over there with the big boobs. Those are the fakest things I've ever seen."
Boyfriend: "maybe you should hit the gym more."
Girlfriend: "fuck you!" (punches his arm, yelling).
Boyfriend: "well maybe you should. Or you could go on the cocaine diet?"
Girlfriend: "yeah so I can be a crackwhore?"
Boyfriend: "crackwhores are sexy."
Girlfriend: "what the fuck is wrong with you jackass?"
Boyfriend: "so what? I like fucking skinny bitches. Buy some blow already and stop eating."

–Malibu, CA

What's More Flattering Than Becoming Whacking Material?

Cute brunette in black bikini to boyfriend: Can we go? There's a guy over there filming us.
Boyfriend: Where?
Brunette: Over there, in the white shorts. What a creeper!
(a few minutes after)
Brunette's female friend: White shorts is going in the water. I hope he gets his camera wet.
Brunette: It's actually kinda flattering.
Boyfriend: First you're all insulted, and now your flattered. Pfft!

–Beach, Chicago, Illinois