Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

And a Del­i­cate Flower

Girl in jeans: Did you se­ri­ous­ly just ride side-sad­dle on the mer­ry-go-round?
Girl in long skirt: Fuck you, I’m a mag­i­cal fuckin’ princess.

–San­ta Cruz, Cal­i­for­nia

Moral: You Should Have Done This Drunk.

a mom is com­fort­ing her son who hit his head.
Grand­ma: Don’t wor­ry, your grand­fa­ther used to get drunk and run in­to the wall. Then he would get an­gry and start punch­ing it!

–A Beach in Utah

By Every­one

14-year-old girl to group of friends: “yeah, vod­ka, man, that shit is strong. Like, 14 shots and I’m done.”

–Hunt­ing­ton Beach, CA

Lit­tle Richard: I’ll Pass, Thanks

Drunk big woman, gy­rat­ing in seat: Yeah, moth­er­fuck­ers, it’s tooty fruity booty! I got my drank on! Look at this tooty fruity booty! What the fuck they doin’ in that wa­ter? Don’tcha know who the fuck I am? I’m tooty fruity booty!

–Ocho Rios, Ja­maica

Over­heard by: sun­burn­tand­sit­tingnext­tothe­booty

There Aren’t Even Any Hy­po­der­mic Nee­dles!

Ig­no­rant yan­kee cunt: It’s ok here, I mean the guys are al­right but maybe a lit­tle too slow for me. But the beach is so clean and the wa­ter is too clear. You can see the fish and stuff.
Twin look­ing girl­friend: Yeah! I know what you mean.

–des­tin, fl

Over­heard by: da­vo