Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

And Prince

Aunt, look­ing up at the stars: What is that?
Nephew: Is this the south­ern or north­ern hemi­sphere?
Aunt (gig­gling): I have no idea.
Cousin, with­out look­ing up : That’s Ori­on. You can see Meis­sa, the star at the top, that’s its head. The re­al­ly bright one is Rigel, that’s sup­posed to be the knee. If you fol­low the con­stel­la­tion down­wards you’ll see Sir­ius.
(blank dumb­found­ed looks)
Cousin: That’s, um, where the aliens from V come from.
Aunt, com­plete­ly un­der­stand­ing : Ohh­hh!

–Beach­es of Koh Sumet, Thai­land

A Long Way of Say­ing, ‘We Re­serve the Right to Put You in a Re­al­i­ty Show’

Dude #1: So, I’m up for this re­al­i­ty show…
Dude #2: Hey, con­grat­u­la­tions!
Dude #1: But in this con­tract they want me to sign it says, ‘We re­serve the right to use any footage that em­bar­rass­es, hu­mil­i­ates, de­fames, or oth­er­wise ru­ins your fuck­ing life.’ I’m not sign­ing that shit.

–West Hol­ly­wood, Cal­i­for­nia

Um, Of­fi­cial­ly I Was “Just Chub­by” and My Daugh­ter Is My Lit­tle Sis­ter

Beach la­dy #1: Oh girls, last night I was watch­ing 16 and Preg­nant.
Beach la­dy #2: My daugh­ter watch­es that. Well, I think it is stu­pid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach la­dy #1: How stu­pid are these kids these days? That’s why my daugh­ter us­es safe sex.
Beach la­dy #2: Wait, weren’t you preg­nant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Emi­ly