Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

Or Was That Rottweilers?

Female tourist: So, how do they know where the islands are every day?
Male tourist: They’re chained to the sea floor so they don’t drift too far.

–Cinnamon Bay, St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands

Overheard by: stephen

And Stay Out of Iowa

Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s

At Last, Texas Has Found Its Purpose in the US

Tourist: Hey! You guys musta cleaned up real good after all the hurricanes last year. Everything looks brand new again.
Beach attendant: Excuse me?
Tourist: Yeah, you guys did a better job than all those FEMA guys in New Orleans.
Beach attendant: We didn’t get any hurricanes on the West Coast.
Tourist: You must have better levees here then.
Beach attendant: Yeah, we have Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and the rest of California.

–Laguna Beach, California

Winter In Maine Is …Less Than Exciting

Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don't think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…

–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals