Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

Though I Often Doubt If They Are Worth It

Native man: This is where Hawaiians come to celebrate a child’s first birthday with a luau. All the family comes to have a three-day party by the ocean.
Tourist: How did that get started?
Native man: To protect the babies from the missionaries who loved to eat plump Hawaiian babies.
Tourist, shocked: That wasn’t in my tour book.
Native man: It’s something we keep quiet to protect the white missionaries.

–Kohala, Hawaii

Overheard by: BLondie

Remember When You Thought Taking German in College Would Never Do You Any Good?

Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy’s Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: German-speaker

And Ketchup

American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time!

–Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea

Overheard by: Vennfix