Teenage boy: Well, last time I was here I got arrested…
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc
Archive for the ‘Time’ Category
It Was Like He Punched the Snooze Button of My Biological Clock
Early 30s woman: I was feeling bad, like I wasn’t on schedule or something. Then I saw who she was marrying and I didn’t feel so bad.
–Lake Michigan, Illinois
Overheard by: Midwest Values
Doesn’t Your Watch Have an App for That?
Girl #1: I lost my fucking phone the other day.
Girl #2: Oh no, I hate when that happens.
Girl #1: I know, right? I never know what the time is now!
–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne
Overheard by: Alex
If You’re Arrested, the U.S. Will Deny You Exist
Flight attendant: Welcome to Acapulco, where the local time is party time.
–Plane Landing in Acapulco, Mexico
…As Confucius Once Asked.
Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Could the World Continue in My Absence?
14-year-old boy, looking at tide chart: Dude, I don’t get it! High tide is at 9:55 p.m., but this place closes at eight!
–Crescent Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kevin and Elissa
Yeaahhh, Definitely Six Days
Grandma: So aren’t you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Maybe Summer School Would Help
Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.
–Ocean Beach, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
How J‑Lo Can You Go?
Hootchie #1: You can totally see my ass-crack in these jeans — what do you think?
Hootchie #2: Ass-crack is the new cleavage.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: AP
Though the Mailman’s Been Known to Go for Rides on It
Townie broad #1: You can tell how a man treats a woman by how he treats his bike.
Townie broad #2: Bill keeps his in the garage and hasn’t ridden it in five years.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
