14-year-old girl to friends: Yeah, I'm not a whore… I'm just popular.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Teens’ Category
But If That's the Theme Of Your Sweet 16…
Teen girl to giggly friend: Well, it's not my favorite thing to have that kind of shit in my mouth.
–Lido Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Alyssa
…Or Not?
Irritated mother: So, the dance is really just a DJ playing music for an hour, it's very informal.
Blonde teen: So, does that mean it's unformal?
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: hahahahaha
In My Day We Called It "Getting In Trouble"
Teen girl with hands on stomach: Why do skinny girls get the bloat?
Mom: Is that what you call it?
–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Blanket Once Removed
I Want to Be Loved for the Real Fake Me
Teen boy #1: I think those girls look 14.
Teen boy #2: No, dude, they gotta be 16.
Teen boy #1: I am telling them I am 20.
Teen boy #2: I am 17.
Teen boy #1: No, dude, you got to use your fake age.
Teen boy #2: Man, that’s why you got game.
–Foster Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Jinx
Portrait of the Stenographer as a Young Girl
Young teen girl: Hey, Mom, Dad told me to ask you, and I’m quoting him, to ‘Please leave a couple of drinks for him before your fat ass hogs them all.’
Mom: Tell your father that he had better be nicer to me or else I’m going to leave his ass for a sexy Latin man named Esteban… again. And you can quote me on that!
–Del Mar, California
Overheard by: Jess the Pirate
In that Case, Put that Big Black Cock in my Ass
Teen boy: … And you’re so racist.
Teen girl: I’m really not.
Teen boy: It’s okay. I find it sexy.
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Api
It's Not Slutty If It's in the Name of Science
Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
He Can Only be Killed with a Graphics Card Through the Heart
Wet teen boy #1, rubbing eyes: My eyes hurt.
Wet teen boy #2: From the salt?
Wet teen boy #1: Nah. I’ve been outside for two days. They’re used to video game light only.
–Bradley Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: long time mom
Oh, Britney Spears, You Wacky Scamp
Underage girl #1: Yeah, but I’m not going to feel okay using my ID if everyone here is from Ohio. They’re going to know it’s fake.
Underage girl #2: Shhh… There’s people in here.
Underage girl #1: I don’t care.
Girl in stall, coming out to wash hands: I know what you guys mean about the Ohio thing. Minivans… I just moved here from New York.
Underage girl #1: Oh?
Girl from stall: I hate it here. I just had a baby. He’s three months old, without a father…
Underage girl #2: Oh my god. I’m so sorry…
Girl from stall: Then my dad left us. He left our family after 25 years. He left us all behind.
Underage girl #1: Oh, uh…
Girl from stall: It’s alright. Have a nice night.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Awkward…