Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Teens’ Category
Like I Don’t Have Enough Star Trivia to Memorize?
Teenage girl: Rosie O’Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.
–Starbucks, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.
Then You Shouldn’t Be Dating Martha Stewart
Teen Girl: I can’t eat this ice cream.
Bruster’s Employee: Why not?
Teen Girl: Because it’s frozen in the middle.
Bruster’s Employee: It’s ice cream.
Teen Girl: I know, but it’s frozen in the middle and I can’t eat it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
All Up in Your Hoo-Hoo Zone
Seven-year old boy: Those boys over there are looking at you.
Bronzed teen sister in bikini: Oh really? [Looks pleased.]Seven-year old boy: Yeah. I guess it’s cause you have that weird sunburn.
–Liberia, Costa Rica
Or Would You Rather Shoot Up and Play Candyland?
Teen to group of college students: Hey… What are you guys up to?
College student: Playing hide-and-seek.
Teen: Well, I was looking to get high, but that works too…
–Encinitas, California
Overheard by: Actually was playing hide and seek
You Know What’s Really Emo? Not Breathing.
Teen #1: Get out of the street! There’s a car coming.
Teen #2, not moving: I don’t care.
Teen #3: God, you’re so emo, it’s ridiculous.
–Rockport, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Avery
Though I’m Great at Sucking Bodily Fluids
Boy: Can I ask you something? If you were a vampire, what would you do?
Teen girl #1: I’d eat someone’s blood.
Teen girl #2: I’d do the same.
Teen girl #3: Well, I wouldn’t be here ’cause I would die! Thank God I’m not a vampire!
–Jones Beach, New York
We Have Enough Imaginary Llamas to Deal with As It Is
Hot teen girl #1: Sexy llama come to mama. (throws imaginary lasso)
Hot teen girl #2 (caught in the imaginary lasso): Unce unce unce unce…yes.
Random lady to son nearby: See honey, this is why we don’t eat magical mushrooms.
–Rehoboth Beach, Deleware
Overheard by: kevin
They Seem So Happy…Oh, Wait…
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes!
Long pause.
Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess.
–English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia
A Threesome With Both Parents Gets You an 11
Blonde teen: On a scale from 1 to 10, how slutty am I?
Brunette teen: 10.
Blonde teen: What? Oh my god, you bitch!
Brunette: You tried to hook up with my father.
Blonde: Oh, yeah…
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Erin
