Teen girl: What’cha doing, dad?
Father: Staring at the cow.
Teen girl (looking ahead): Where?
Father: In the water.
Teen girl (frantically looking at the sea): Where?!
Father: In my imagination.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: amused book-reader
Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!
–Block Island, Rhode Island
Overheard by: diorette
Teen to friend: That boy doesn’t know his bivalves from his crustaceans.
–Colonial Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I love me some bivalves AND crustaceans
Teen girl, looking at historic photos of fishermen: So like, what’s a “circa”?
Teen boy: That’s a kind of fish. (pointing to photo) See, that’s a circa. So’s that…
–Pier, Naples, Florida
Overheard by: circa 1978
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I’d totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don’t
Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I.S.
Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!“
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That’s what she said.
–Balboa, California
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can’t have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
10-year-old boy: We’re going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.
–Tampa, Florida
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
