Girl #1, in shade: Wanna go down to the water?
Girl #2: Sure!
Girl #2, in water: Wanna go back to the tree?
Girl #1: Yeah. I do.
–Sydney, Australia
Archive for the ‘Swimming’ Category
We're Even Outsourcing Our Urban Menace
Thug #1: You goin’ in the water or you not?
Chick: I wanna go in the water, but I need yo’ shirt!
Thug #1: You’s like the Mexicans sayin’ they wanna cross the fence to get to the U.S. Just climb over it!
Thug #2: They cross the river! Them Mexicans turn cars into boats and float across! They must been watchin’ Monster Garage when they turned the VW Bug into a boat!
Thug #1: You not gettin’ my t-shirt — go in the water!
Chick, turning to Thug #1’s toddler son: Can I have your jersey? You have a shirt under it! I wanna go in the water!
Toddler: No!
Thug #2: That thing was sick. They turned that car into a boat and floated across!
–Plum Island, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Megan
They Never Call
Little girl to friend, after being put back into standing position by a wave: Haha! That wave just knocked me up!
–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
It's Natural to Be Afraid Of Giant, Mechanical Sharks
Random passer-by: Have you seen Shark Week? I'm not going in there!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Anna
Yaaaayyy!!
Young boy excitedly walking out of the ocean with father: Mom! It's still so early in the morning and I already almost drowned!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: jt
Get the Chum Bucket, Will You?
Little girl: Mummy, mummy, look! It’s a shark!
Mum: No, sweetie, that’s Grandpa.
–Caloundra, Australia
Britney and K-Fed's Baby Takes to the Water
Little boy, floating on his back: Look at me! I’m the slowest boat in life!
–Valley Falls, Vernon, Connecticut
Overheard by: your parents must be so proud
Without Big Boobs, You're Gonna Need a Lot More Than Water Tricks
Tween girl: Look I can float, and I don’t have big boobs!
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jenn
…And I'd Like to Do It with Dignity.
Fat blubbery man to wife: C'mon already! Let's go in the water–I gotta take a piss!
–Caribbean
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Bottom Line, Don't Go Barefoot at the Beach
Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.
–Pacifica, California