Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin' staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He's giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it. –Ocean Beach, California
Texan: Yo! Dude, the waves are so huge! I just broke my longboard in two an’ almost got killed… that was awesome! –Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic
Worried surfer: I’ve been out here four hours and my knob still hasn’t changed color! –Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?
Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him.
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?!
Little girl looks at boy but continues walking.
Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade. Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction. Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older. –Pomano Beach, Florida
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick! –Santa Monica, California
Crackhead: Yeah, I’m kind of known around here as the sheriff of the North Shore.
Local guy: Yeah? Well, then I’m the mayor.
Passing Australian surfer: I want to be prime minister. –Sunset Beach, Oahu, Hawaii Overheard by: Jehan
Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do! –Shell Beach, California Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up
Japanese tourist #1 with wet suit on backwards: Hello!
Local surfer: You speak English?
Japanese tourist #2: Yes, yes!
Local surfer: Good. Get the fuck out of here! –The Hook, Santa Cruz, California Overheard by: Chrissy
Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That's my height, I'm 6 foot 4! –Cornwall, England Overheard by: Beth
Skateboarding surfer to six Hasidic Jews: Hey! Cowboys! –Ventnor City, New Jersey Overheard by: walking on the other side