Archive for the ‘Sunbathing’ Category

We Don’t Do that in Public, Either

Girl #1: Hey, I really want to get rid of my short-tan, but I need to change into my bathing suit bottoms.
Girl #2: Go ahead. No one will notice.

Girl #1 takes off her shorts and is about to take off her thong.

Girl #2: Jenny, I was just kidding! Put your shorts back on!
Girl #1: Oh, shit!

–Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: sun-lover

From The Big Book of Clumsy Pick-Up Lines

Girl #1, approaching girl #2: Um, you should work on your self-esteem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ugly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love yourself!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opinion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?

–Topanga State Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks

To Be Fair, What American Would?

Woman, putting lotion on man’s back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you’re 40! Okay, now you’re scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I’d explain it to you but you wouldn’t understand.

–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ishkabibble