Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?
Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.
Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.
–Miami, Florida
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Homeschooling: The Dark Side.
Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!
–Seaside, Oregon
Which Threw Off Our Whole System of Coded Gestures
20-something girl #1: So, she’s pregnant?
20-something girl #2: No, I just didn’t want to sit by the soda machine.
–Warren Dunes, Michigan
And Often Swim in Water or Other Liquid.
Loud woman, about sting rays: They have a six-foot wingspan of five to six feet.
–Sea Life Park, Honolulu, Hawaii
Basically I Like Little Fried Bits Of Unidentified Food
Teen to friend: Went to the Bahamas, they had conch there. I didn't eat that, it was weird. They had really good French fries in the Bahamas, though. I like all kinds of French fries… Curly fries, spicy fries… Except for steak fries, they have too much potato.
–Key Largo, Florida
It Was at Once Zesty and Explosive!
Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?
–York Beach, Maine
The Purpose-Driven Life Made a Huge Impression on Me
Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo… I could never get naked, but I would if I had to.
–Ft. Walton Beach, Florida
Overheard by: If I didn’t have to work the next day, I’d have invited her to party
That's How I Spend My Christmas Bonus
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
But I Can Get by in English, As Long As They Speak Slowly
Canadian girl to Americans: Oh my god! You guys speak Canadian? We’ve been looking for other people who speak Canadian!
American guy: Yup, only Canadian. No American or English. Only Canadian.
Canadian girl: Awesome! Me, too!
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
…We'll Come Down From the Acid
German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California