American law student girl: So, you know, in Spain, why is there a beeping sound when the traffic signals change?
English barman: That’s so that blind people know when the traffic has stopped.
American law student girl: Oh my god! You let blind people drive?
–Marbella, Spain
Overheard by: the future of justice…
Preppy college girl: I don’t know — I think it would be kind of glamorous to be poor!
–Pennfield Beach, Connecticut
Overheard by: Quirky Corky
Stoned chick: So, whenever I’m stoned, like this stoned, I start a sentence… And then through half the sentence, I finish another sentence I said before, or finish another idea in my head, or just start talking. It’s like I forget or something, like, my idea, and it’s like I had it all there, and stuff. You know what I mean?
Stoned guy: … That’s retarded.
–St. Petersburg, Florida
Dude #1: Wouldn’t it be cool if you could just get surgery to switch your heart and, say, your liver?
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: Then, if someone came up to you and said, “I’m gonna stab you in the heart!” you could be like, “I’d like to see you try!”
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Suprchick
Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Guy #1: Oh, shit, I just realized we’re in Tampa!
Guy #2: So?
Guy #1: Tampa!
Guy #2: Oh, bukkake, right?
–St. Petersburg Beach, Florida
Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you ‘ask’ someone, you have a question. When you ‘axe’ someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don’t say you don’t know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?!
–Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: halliefaith
Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that’s the Pacific ocean.
–Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
