Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Yaaaayyy!!
Young boy excitedly walking out of the ocean with father: Mom! It's still so early in the morning and I already almost drowned!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: jt
Um, Officially I Was "Just Chubby" and My Daughter Is My Little Sister
Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That's why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren't you pregnant at 16?
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily
You Should Only Hit Your Enemies, Your Children, and Iraq
Woman, smacking her son over the head: Don’t hit your friends!
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Herbie McHebrew
Your Pants Say It's Too Late For That
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I don’t take off my shoes at the beach.
Baggy-Pants boy #2: How are you going to walk in the water?
Baggy-Pants boy #1: I’ll just keep them on. Is there a law that says you have to be barefoot in the ocean?
Baggy-Pants boy #2: No. But there’s a law that says if you do that, you’re gonna look like a jackass.
–Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lesley
Doctors Surgically Removed Her Husband
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.
–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Andrea
Venus De Milo Accepted Her Predicament With Customary Good Humor
Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Anybody Still Worried about the Focus on Dead White Europeans in Schools?
Girl #1: We can go see the Kula botanical gardens.
Girl #2: Where on the island is it?
Girl #1, reading guidebook section: It’s in flora and fauna — I don’t know where that is.
Girl #2: Um… Flora and fauna means plants and animals, it isn’t a place on the map.
Girl #1: Well, I don’t speak Hawaiian so how was I supposed to know?
–Kihei, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: ispeakhawaiian
In Much the Same Way That the Atmosphere Goes All the Way Through Your Head
Woman: So the water goes all the way around the island?
–Vancouver Island, British Columbia
Overheard by: Molly
See the Colossus of Rhodes?
Tourist: So, what’s on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that’s not a lake — that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia