Guy #1: Oh, shit, I just realized we’re in Tampa!
Guy #2: So?
Guy #1: Tampa!
Guy #2: Oh, bukkake, right?
–St. Petersburg Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Loretta Also Commented on the Number of Jews in Jerusalem
(on board a ferry full of black people)
Elderly southern woman: Seems to me there are a lot of blacks here.
Half deaf elderly husband: What?
Elderly southern woman: Blacks!
–Ferry, Bermuda
Speaking of Slapping Bitches…
Girl #1: She’s such a ditz. She’s in a band called ‘Bitch Slap,’ and they all wear matching shirts that say ‘Bitch Slap.‘
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
–Coffs Harbour, Australia
Elizabeth: 0 Ice Cream Man: 1
Limping girl with bandages and arm in a sling: I dunno, he started driving away so I just grabbed on.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Um, Officially I Was “Just Chubby” and My Daughter Is My Little Sister
Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That’s why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren’t you pregnant at 16?
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily
Ignorance Makes Me Harder than Chinese Algebra
Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
…and Embarrass Me in Front Of My Criminal Enterprise Assoicates
Tattooed dad to two-year-old daughter struggling to get on tricycle: Remember, sweetie, always get on from the left so you don’t burn yourself on the exhaust pipe.
–Playground, Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
Once You Understand That, I Will Introduce You to the Inexplicable Wetness of the Dry Suit
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?
–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
And There’s No Roof!
Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!
–Seaside Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tess
…in California
Trashy looking blonde, as two girls walk into a party: Ew, why are there smart people here?
–Manhattan Beach, California
Overheard by: smart people
