Woman to another, trying to get support to protect the seals: Yeah, my daughter’s friend wants to be a marine biologist. She is so smart.
Daughter’s friend, in confused voice: Hey, I got gum on my camera.
–Children’s Beach, La Jolla, California
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Randy Found Her Unresponsive, Cowlike Demeanor Strangely Arousing
Fat dude on awkward first date: Yeah, so that’s why I didn’t put ‘Let’s meet at Starbucks’ in my ad. ‘Let’s have a beer on the beach,’ you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hmmm.
Fat dude: So… You don’t drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it’s fair to say you have a problem with alcohol.
Obese chick: I don’t have a problem with it.
Fat dude, after long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what other hobbies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.
–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Brooke
Why Don’t You Just Check the Polygraph?
Stoned girl: It’s really windy today. I wonder what it is on the Richter scale?
–Brighton Beach, United Kingdom
Overheard by: Chicken King
Come Give Mommy a Big Hug
Bigmouth: I don’t care where we go, but I am not sitting with Allen… Oh, hi, Allen!
–Fire Island Pines, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Wow, Am I Lost
Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.
–Portland, Maine
Believe Me, They Don’t Want to Talk to You
Girl: What’s the number for 411?
–Sag Main, Sagaponack, New York
Overheard by: Friend on the Beach
Here, Talk to My Dad While I Go Throw Up
Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!
–Panama City, Florida
You Might Find Some in Between the Condoms and Syringes
Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It’s the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: sick of bennies
Last Summer She Tried to Get Hawaii to Come About
Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.
–Palos Verdes, California
We Could Call Ourselves ‘The Circle Jerks’ — Unless that’s Taken
Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.‘
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
