Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

You Can’t Se­ri­ous­ly Ex­pect Frank to Give Up a Pos­si­ble Bite Just to Save Some­one

Red­neck girl: Frank was out fish­ing with the guy who drowned yes­ter­day.
Red­neck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Red­neck girl: No, he was fish­ing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Red­neck boyfriend: Did he?
Red­neck girl: No, it was just the wa­ter.
Red­neck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.

–Hol­land State Park, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Town­ie

God Of­ten For­gets to Rest on the Sev­enth Day

Fa­ther: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daugh­ter #1: Why? We have com­pa­ny! Can’t we stay?
Fa­ther: I have no cov­er­age here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no va­ca­tion.
Tween daugh­ter #2: No beach?
Fa­ther: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nau­set Beach, Cape Cod, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: amazed ob­serv­er

Af­ter His Sex Change, Homer Simp­son Moved to Van­cou­ver

40-some­thing woman: You’re from Turkey? What lan­guage do they speak there?
Turk­ish guy: Uh… Turk­ish.
40-some­thing woman: There’s a lan­guage called Turk­ish? Re­al­ly? Do a lot of peo­ple speak it?
Turk­ish guy: Well, yeah, more than a thou­sand years ago in cen­tral Asia…
40-some­thing woman, in­ter­rupt­ing: Chi­nese peo­ple speak Turk­ish? I did­n’t know that!

–Van­cou­ver, Cana­dia