Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can't. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You're so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?
–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York
Overheard by: Pinks
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
I'll Just Throw a Virgin Into the Volcano, Ma'am
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I'm cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Get Back in the Dating Pool
Teen girl: I heard there are sharks in the lake.
Teen boy: That’s probably not true.
Teen girl: It’s true. Like, somebody got killed here by a shark.
Teen boy: I think you have upstate New York confused with anywhere with a shoreline.
Teen girl: But…
Teen boy: ‘But’-nothing if you wanna get fucked later.
–Lake George, New York
Faster Than a Golden Calf. Stronger Than All 12 Plagues…
“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
I Adore When Cows Eat Me, Though.
Stoned surfer: I decided that I won't eat fish anymore, because if I don't eat them, they won't eat me.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
A+
Girl with textbook: What's the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?
–New York
It's the Ashes of Dead Mouseketeers
Redneck mother: Where’d all this sand come from?
Redneck daughter: Disney, probably.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Angela Cimato
No, It's Actually for Vacationers Who Need a Change of Pace
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
Speaking of Slapping Bitches…
Girl #1: She’s such a ditz. She’s in a band called ‘Bitch Slap,’ and they all wear matching shirts that say ‘Bitch Slap.’
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
–Coffs Harbour, Australia
…Because They're the Only Ones with a Following.
Dumb girl talking to small group of friends: Only famous people use Twitter.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Janelle