Guy: Um, do you know where the water is?
Lady: Cold.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
Elizabeth: 0 Ice Cream Man: 1
Limping girl with bandages and arm in a sling: I dunno, he started driving away so I just grabbed on.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Comrade Gull Repudiates the Bourgeois Notion of Private Property
Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!
–Westhampton Beach, New York
GI Jane Gets Edited For Lifetime
American girl, looking at girl with shaved head: Oh my God, I feel soo bad for her.
American friend #1: ‘Cause she has cancer?
American friend #2: Or she’s a dyke.
American girl: Either way, it sucks!
–Herzliya Beach, Herzliya, Israel
Latest Miracle Ear Ad Campaign Goes "Street"
Girl #1: Oh my god, look at all the palm trees!
Girl #2: Shhh! Don’t say ‘papis’!
Girl #1: What? Cock tease?
–San Juan, Puerto Rico
Overheard by: jersey represent
Why There Should Be a Wall Around New Jersey
Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dan
Plus, 13 Is an Unlucky Number
Creepster: Her dad says I’m too old to be hitting on a 13-year-old girl, so I do the math. But if you let them get their belly button pierced, they are going to get attention.
–St. Simon’s Island, Georgia
Overheard by: Dragoman
Sir, I'm Going to Need to Wand You
Boy #1: Yeah, it was cool, but that bouncer searched me like crazy. He was patting my thighs and stuff. Security is crazy at that place, huh?
Boy #2: What security?
Boy #3: What bouncer?
Boy #1: You know, that big, fat guy near the entrance.
Boy #2: There was no security dude.
Boy #1: … Then who the hell was that guy?!
Boys #2 and #3 laugh hysterically.
–Venice Beach, California
And Driving. I Really Like the Driving. And Yelling.
Guy driving by, yelling out the window: I like sex!!
Same guy driving by a minute later: I like sex!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Pirates 2 Panned by Critics; Deemed Too 'Brainy,' 'Referential'
20-Something girl #1: Yeah, I fell asleep. It was a stupid movie! And that guy with the squid on his face, who was he, Medusa?
20-Something girl #2: You mean Davy Jones?
20-Something girl #1: Yeah. And I was like, what about The Monkees?
20-Something girl #2: There weren’t any monkeys.
20-Something girl #1: You’re too young to remember the Sixties. Davy Jones was in the Monkees.
20-Something girl #2: Um, Davy Jones the pirate came first. Haven’t you ever heard of Davy Jones’s locker?
20-Something girl #1: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts