Guy #1: Eh, to be honest, with as much as I’ve been laid, I’ve probably got a kid somewhere.
Guy #2: You need to practice safe sex. Put it in her pooper.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Walking by in disbelief
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
That was a Platonic Blow Job
JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..
The Outdoors Is Bigger Than I Could Have Imagined
Lady to friends: Wow! This is a lot of sand!
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Courtney
She Has Only Clients
Teenage girl to boyfriend: Ew, look. Haley is over there. Whore. She comes here like every day with nothing better to do.
Boyfriend: We come here every day, too.
Teenage girl: Yeah but at least we like, have friends.
–Miami Beach, Florida
On the Other Hand, You Could Be Wrong
Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.
–Corolla, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
But Don’t Tell Him About the Time We Fucked!
Chick #1: You were a complete whore last night.
Chick #2: Look who’s talking! Do I have to mention the time you let Derek go down on you?
Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you!
Chick #2: So what?
Chick #1: Listen to how you’re talking about me and my brother. He’s gonna think I’m a complete skank!
Chick #2: I said Derek. He didn’t know who the fuck Derek was until you opened your fuckin’ mouth.
Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right…
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: That guy over there
It’s a Wise Child Who Knows His Fatherland
Girl to guy: Yeah, my parents are from Denmark, I know, it’s “Deutschland”… I’m Dutch.
–Hamilton Island Beach, Australia
Overheard by: JJ
Anyway, All Those Asian Countries Look Alike
Chick #1: So, where are you going for your trip?
Chick #2: Thailand!
Chick #1: Cool! I worked with a guy from Korea once!
Chick #2: Ummm, yeah, that’s not the same, really.
Chick #1: It’s not? Oh… Things must be different now than from when he lived there.
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: American Goods
You Know She Likes Fish
Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Note to Self: Steal Dog, Feed to Sharks
Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you’re at work and she laughs.
–Tamarama Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
