Four-year-old girl (disappointed, looking at a jellyfish): I’ve never seen one of these before…but I thought it would be longer.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: I Was Surprised Too
Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category
If You Listen Closely, You Can Hear Her Brain Going Snap, Crackle, Pop
Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…
–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: i like rice krispies
You Can’t Seriously Expect Frank to Give Up a Possible Bite Just to Save Someone
Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.
–Holland State Park, Michigan
Overheard by: Townie
They Really Should Schedule the Beer Competition before the Sex
Italian MC on the PA: Fifteen minutes to Bocce ball tournament, volleyball tournament… Sex on the beach! Beer tournament at six!
–Fortuna Beach, Grand Bahama Island
And with That Attitude, You Never Will
Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: –No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.
–Hotel, Sydney, Australia
Or Am I Thinking Of Kim Jong-il?
Surfer bro: Wait, isn’t Barack Obama one-half Jamaican?
–Santa Cruz, California
God Often Forgets to Rest on the Seventh Day
Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.
–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amazed observer
Basically I Like Little Fried Bits Of Unidentified Food
Teen to friend: Went to the Bahamas, they had conch there. I didn’t eat that, it was weird. They had really good French fries in the Bahamas, though. I like all kinds of French fries… Curly fries, spicy fries… Except for steak fries, they have too much potato.
–Key Largo, Florida
After His Sex Change, Homer Simpson Moved to Vancouver
40-something woman: You’re from Turkey? What language do they speak there?
Turkish guy: Uh… Turkish.
40-something woman: There’s a language called Turkish? Really? Do a lot of people speak it?
Turkish guy: Well, yeah, more than a thousand years ago in central Asia…
40-something woman, interrupting: Chinese people speak Turkish? I didn’t know that!
–Vancouver, Canadia
Tequila-Induced Vomit Per Square Inch Didn’t Quite Make it Into Fodor’s
Girl, to her friend who has just dropped a tortilla: Five second rule!
Friend: I am not eating a fucking tortilla off the floor of Tijuana!
Several bystanders: We’re in Rosarito!
–Taco stand, Rosarito, Baja
