Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

Who Did­n’t, Re­al­ly?

Brunette: I’ve al­ways want­ed a tat­too, but I don’t think I’m go­ing to get one. You can’t get buried in a Jew­ish ceme­tery if you have a tat­too.
Blonde: Why would you want to get mar­ried in a Jew­ish ceme­tery?
Brunette: Not mar­ried. Buried.
Blonde: Oh… So, are you Jew­ish?
Brunette: Yes.
Blonde: What is it with Jews al­ways want­i­ng to mar­ry oth­er Jews?
Brunette: I guess part of it is that the Jews have been per­se­cut­ed so much, so peo­ple want to make sure to per­pet­u­ate the race.
Blonde: Re­al­ly? Like who? Who per­se­cut­ed the Jews?
Brunette: Um… well… the Nazis.

–Sandy Hook, New Jer­sey

So God Does Play Dice With the Uni­verse!

Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s hus­band is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Re­al­ly? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Would­n’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit any­way.

Brief pause.

Girl: I’m re­think­ing the doc­tor thing.
Guy: Re­al­ly?
Girl: Yeah, sur­geon or on­col­o­gist or what­ev­er I be­come. I would­n’t be able to have a fam­i­ly.

–Re­hoboth, Delaware

Over­heard by: kris­ten

If You Had a Re­al­ly Good Tele­scope, You Could See Our Backs

Drunk wed­ding guest: Hey, cool! I won­der what bay that is…
Sober guest: Uh, that’s the At­lantic Ocean.
Drunk­en wed­ding guest: Are you sure? It looks too calm to be an ocean.
Sober guest: We’re as far East as you can get in New Jer­sey. That’s the ocean.
Drunk­en wed­ding guest: I think it’s some sort of bay.
Sober guest: There’s no land on the oth­er side! It’s the ocean!

–Sea Bright, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: I looked at the map