College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn’t fly away!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
Oddly, She Also Says This During Cunnilingus
Obnoxious blonde instructor to riding student: That was beautiful! It looked like water ballet!
–Horse Show, West Palm Beach, Florida
Ignorance Makes Me Harder than Chinese Algebra
Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
With Slightly More Explosives.
Poli-sci professor, on international military education and training: It’s like going to Harvard… (class is silent) …Harvard grad school. It’s really prestigious.
–UC Santa Cruz
California
Everybody Talks About Social Darwinism, but Only the Spanish Do It
American law student girl: So, you know, in Spain, why is there a beeping sound when the traffic signals change?
English barman: That’s so that blind people know when the traffic has stopped.
American law student girl: Oh my god! You let blind people drive?
–Marbella, Spain
Overheard by: the future of justice…
But are You Any Good in the Clutch?
Co-ed: But the book wasn’t even that long, and I drive stick, so I can really handle my phallic symbols.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Liz Burrin
Making Me the Perfect Complement to Any Outfit
College kid: But I was conceived in Florida, so that means I’m neutral!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Hope You’re Studying up for Thursday’s Dung-Flinging Quiz
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: … Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
–Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There’s nothing like lab in the field
This Pick-Up Line Works Better with His Own Sex
Duke guy: Have you read Rebecca?
Duke girl: Of Sunnybrook Farm?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Or Would You Rather Shoot Up and Play Candyland?
Teen to group of college students: Hey… What are you guys up to?
College student: Playing hide-and-seek.
Teen: Well, I was looking to get high, but that works too…
–Encinitas, California
Overheard by: Actually was playing hide and seek
