Co-ed: But the book wasn’t even that long, and I drive stick, so I can really handle my phallic symbols.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Liz Burrin
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
Hope You’re Studying up for Thursday’s Dung-Flinging Quiz
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: … Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
–Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There’s nothing like lab in the field
It Was America’s Funniest Home Intercourse
College chick on cell: I’m like, ‘Why do I have to have dreams about us breaking up? Why can’t I have dreams like I used to… Like when I was fucking Bob Saget?’
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
Everybody Talks About Social Darwinism, but Only the Spanish Do It
American law student girl: So, you know, in Spain, why is there a beeping sound when the traffic signals change?
English barman: That’s so that blind people know when the traffic has stopped.
American law student girl: Oh my god! You let blind people drive?
–Marbella, Spain
Overheard by: the future of justice…
It’s Actually Her Roommate in a JonBenet Costume
College girl: Stop hitting on the nine-year-old, and let’s leave!
–Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
But Since It’s Me, I Know I’m Just Lazy
University of Miami girl: If I wasn’t me, I’d think I was stupid.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Or Would You Rather Shoot Up and Play Candyland?
Teen to group of college students: Hey… What are you guys up to?
College student: Playing hide-and-seek.
Teen: Well, I was looking to get high, but that works too…
–Encinitas, California
Overheard by: Actually was playing hide and seek
You’ve Seen the Snoopy Cartoons Where He Dresses As the Red Baron, No?
College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn’t fly away!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Oddly, She Also Says This During Cunnilingus
Obnoxious blonde instructor to riding student: That was beautiful! It looked like water ballet!
–Horse Show, West Palm Beach, Florida
Ignorance Makes Me Harder than Chinese Algebra
Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
