Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You’re sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn’t say which beach.
–Pacific Beach, California
Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category
Where Would Human Civilization Be Without That Phrase?
Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It’s done, there’s nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That’s what he said.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tara
Hey, at Least He Connected the Right Animal with the Right Country
American: Hey, you’re from Australia, right?
Australian: Yeah. I’m just here on holiday.
American: Right. I thought you had an Aussie accent. So you’re not familiar with cars, hey? It’s all about kangaroos where you come from?
Australian, laughing: Yep… that’s right.
–California
We Raised Him Free Range
Four-year-old sprays woman with his giant water gun, and doesn’t stop after she warns him repeatedly.
Woman: I’m going to talk to his parents! [Stomps to nearby cafe.] Who is responsible for this child?
Parent: Sorry. What did the little fucker do this time?
–Marmaris Beach, Turkey
Newsflash: Mexican Dishwashing Skills Put to Use in Local Beautification Project
Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.
–Tulum, Mexico
Overheard by: Tulumbum
That’s How I Spend My Christmas Bonus
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Your Editors Predict Big Things for That Soft Drink
20-something guy, screaming to total stranger: My dick is, like, totally swollen, bro!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Why It’s Better to Eat Vegetables
Girl: What is that?!
Guy, flipping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sockets?
Girl: Ewww. That’s no jellyfish.
Guy: It looks like an alligator head.
Girl: But alligators aren’t in salt water. Maybe it got lost?
Guy: Look it has a…spine?
Girl: But a head wouldn’t have a-
Woman sitting nearby: ‑It’s a chicken breast. I just threw it out.
Girl and Guy: Oh.
–St. Augustine, Florida
Overheard by: Cristen
No, Dude! You Tell Her You Have a Permanent Banana She Can Have for Free!
Banana vendor: Bananas… Bananas… Two for a dollar! Bananas…
Topless girl in string bikini bottom: But I just need one…
Banana vendor: Why don’t you eat the other one?
–South Korea
It’s Natural to Be Afraid Of Giant, Mechanical Sharks
Random passer-by: Have you seen Shark Week? I’m not going in there!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Anna
