Archive for the ‘Strangers’ Category

We Raised Him Free Range

Four-year-old sprays woman with his gi­ant wa­ter gun, and does­n’t stop af­ter she warns him re­peat­ed­ly.

Woman: I’m go­ing to talk to his par­ents! [Stomps to near­by cafe.] Who is re­spon­si­ble for this child?
Par­ent: Sor­ry. What did the lit­tle fuck­er do this time?

–Mar­maris Beach, Turkey

Why It’s Bet­ter to Eat Veg­eta­bles

Girl: What is that?!
Guy, flip­ping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sock­ets?
Girl: Ewww. That’s no jel­ly­fish.
Guy: It looks like an al­li­ga­tor head.
Girl: But al­li­ga­tors aren’t in salt wa­ter. Maybe it got lost?
Guy: Look it has a…spine?
Girl: But a head would­n’t have a-
Woman sit­ting near­by: ‑It’s a chick­en breast. I just threw it out.
Girl and Guy: Oh.

–St. Au­gus­tine, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Cristen