Archive for the ‘Stoners’ Category

Every Drug Needs Evan­ge­lists

Girl run­ning along shore: Smoke weed every day!
Black la­dy on beach blan­ket: Hal­lelu­jah! Come here, ba­by!

Girl runs to black la­dy, who stands and hugs her and kiss­es her.

Black la­dy: Smoke weed, God bless you!

–Sea­side Heights, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: t‑money

Nev­er Met a Sim­i­le Yet I Could­n’t Swal­low

Stoned nerd (talk­ing about his sub or­der): I’ve got six inch­es!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the les­bian choice, a fuckin’ sand­wich. Cuz the sand­wich is like a vagi­na and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I to­tal­ly un­der­stand. And I’m okay with that.

–Wawa, Re­hoboth Beach, Delaware

Drugs Cre­ate the Il­lu­sion You Have Some­thing to Say

Stoned chick: So, when­ev­er I’m stoned, like this stoned, I start a sen­tence… And then through half the sen­tence, I fin­ish an­oth­er sen­tence I said be­fore, or fin­ish an­oth­er idea in my head, or just start talk­ing. It’s like I for­get or some­thing, like, my idea, and it’s like I had it all there, and stuff. You know what I mean?
Stoned guy: … That’s re­tard­ed.

–St. Pe­ters­burg, Flori­da