Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.
–San Francisco, California
Overheard by: so not PC
Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category
Aw, Don’t Get Sore at Her.
Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
There’s No “U” in My Cunt, Pal
30-something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you’re looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is “u.”
–Pacific Beach, California
Such a Small Area, So Many Problems
20-something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn’t go.
20-something girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20-something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Sex Tourism’s Most Popular Souvenir
Random guy to little boy: Hey, you have fun today?
Little boy: Yeah, sure, but I still haven’t found those crabs.
–Hilo, Hawaii
Overheard by: Gwen
…Word to Your Mother
Father to young son: Some holes have crabs!
–Alma, New Bruswick, Canadia
Twenty Minutes and Dozens of Claw Cuts Later, Mike Had His Answer
Random guy named Mike, after hitting on girl for twenty minutes: You know, I’ve always wondered, can crabs get crabs?
–Ship Bottom, Long Beach Island, California
Overheard by: beachweek ’06
Hint: They Move and Have Little Claws
Italian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something…
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: jerseygirl
If Not As Much As Your Daughter.
Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven’t seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don’t even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. At least you’re getting some action.
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Marissa
No, Sweetie. Daddy Got His in a Cheap Motel Room
Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: Rick
