Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category

Such a Small Area, So Many Prob­lems

20-some­thing girl #1, com­ing out of wa­ter: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I could­n’t go.
20-some­thing girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-some­thing girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re go­ing back in, I have to pee so bad­ly!
20-some­thing girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My her­pes burns so bad­ly!
(all three walks in­to wa­ter)

–Vir­ginia Beach, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Sweed­ie

Hint: They Move and Have Lit­tle Claws

Ital­ian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Ital­ian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have an­oth­er yeast in­fec­tion or dry skin or some­thing…
Frat boy: Why are you ask­ing me this?
Ital­ian girl: Be­cause we slept to­geth­er last week and now I itch!

–Point Pleas­ant, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: jer­sey­girl

If Not As Much As Your Daugh­ter.

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven’t seen you for­ev­er.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more of­ten. How are you?
Woman #1: Don’t even ask. On­ly a cou­ple of weeks ago I re­al­ized I had crabs, and just yes­ter­day I found out my daugh­ter has her­pes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The ap­ple does­n’t fall far from the tree. At least you’re get­ting some ac­tion.

–Mel­bourne, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Maris­sa