Archive for the ‘STDs’ Category

Such a Small Area, So Many Problems

20-something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn’t go.
20-something girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20-something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

Hint: They Move and Have Little Claws

Italian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something…
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: jerseygirl

If Not As Much As Your Daughter.

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven’t seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don’t even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. At least you’re getting some action.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Marissa