Local dude, trying to get me to buy a jet-ski ride: You can drink and drive. It’s paradise!
–Paradise Island, The Bahamas
Overheard by: Drunken Swimmer
Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category
How the Hell Would I Know That?
Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Lilian
Minneapolis Kids Emerge from Hibernation After a Long Wii-inter
Dad to kid: You guys want to rent a canoe?
Kid: Canoe!? That’s super hard, even on the Wii, much less in real water!
–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: caveman
Our SATs Have Tanning and Waxing Sections
High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
…Now, on to the Next Topic: My Muscles!
Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That’s my height, I’m 6 foot 4!
–Cornwall, England
Overheard by: Beth
What About the Abortion This Morning?
Girl #1: My vag hurts.
Girl #2: It’s probably from the jet ski yesterday…or that guy last night.
–Siesta Key, Florida
Overheard by: sadly not that guy
You Can’t Seriously Expect Frank to Give Up a Possible Bite Just to Save Someone
Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.
–Holland State Park, Michigan
Overheard by: Townie
Take Me with You, Lady Windigo!
Girl to athletic friend: So, Mary Anne, when you go running, like what does that mean? Is that like, really fast?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: KB
Why Flare Guns Are So Popular in Canadia
Man #1, hanging up cell: By the volleyball net? You can’t find anyone at this beach by telling them “I’m by the volleyball net.” That’s like going downtown and telling someone “I’m by the pizza place.”
Man #2: Or, “I’m by the hobo.”
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Emimac
That’s What You Said About Tech Support!
Teenage Indian boy to friends running across hot sand: My people do this, so I should be able to also!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Rachel
