Archive for the ‘South Carolina’ Category

Happens Every Time She Watches The O’Reilly Factor

Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Lamarck: The Evidence I Was Waiting For!

Girl: That big lady across the room is staring at you again. You know she thinks you’re hot — I bet she’s picturing you naked right now.
Guy, rubbing his nipples: She wants my body.
Girl: In a minute she’s gonna look over here and do that to you.
Guy: Are you kidding? That bitch would have to grow longer arms so she could reach below her knees.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

And That’s All I Know

Little boy from Georgia: My mom says y’all are Yankees.
Little boy from Connecticut: Uh-uh, not me. I’m a Red Sox.

–Pawley’s Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Big girl from Connecticut