Guy to friend: If they’re not Tara Reid, I don’t want to see their tits.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Archive for the ‘South Carolina’ Category
Here’s Some Chapstik
Mother with accent, talking to grown son: David, blow up the raft!
David: No! Make dad do it!
Dad: You’re younger. You have more air in your lungs.
Sister: Dave, just blow up the raft.
David: No!
Mother: Son, shut up and finish the blow job.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: anna
Usually We Just Mock Americans
Chick: So, what’s there to do for fun around here?
Lifeguard: I dont know, I’m Canadian.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: NSBS Geo
Say, Did Your Parents Say Anything about When They’d Pay Me?
Babysitter: Hey, do you want to build a sandcastle?
Kid: Yeah! These [feet buried under sand] can be our slave cabins!
Babysitter: Uh, I think it’s time we go swimming.
–Folly Beach, Charleston, South Carolina
I’ll Only Kiss You in Public Restrooms and Camera-Free Elevators
Chick #1: Why didn’t you kiss me at the pool?!
Chick #2: Because I don’t want to have an open relationship with you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
I Was Wondering If I Might Borrow One of Your Mouths?
Middle-aged man: Hi, girls. I was wondering if I could borrow one of your magazines. My wife is really bored and forgot her book. I’ll give you a drink in return.
Group of 20-ish girls: No problem. Here’s a People mag.
Middle-aged man: Thanks. See ya.
Middle-aged woman walks over laughing and whispers: Girls, my husband is so shy — I can’t believe he actually did that! And do you know what I have to do in return? [Girls stare.] I have to give him a blowjob tonight!
–Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Meghan
Which Is Really Making Me Sick
Concerned passerby: Dude… Are you okay?
Concerned drunk: I appreciate your concern, but you’re standing in my puke.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Take That, Feudalism!
Four-year-old girl squatting over sand castle: Look, Mommy, I’m peeing! Look, Mommy, it’s a toilet!
–Isle of Palms, South Carolina
Pango-Pango, Maryland… Right?
Pale tourist: Hey, do you have the time?
Bronzed local child: Sure, mister! It’s 12:45.
Pale tourist: Is that Eastern Standard Time?
Bronzed local child, sarcastically: No. It’s local time in Pango-Pango.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
Hey, You’re Hot — I’m Just Saying You’re Skanky
Dude stopping intense make-out: Um, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…
Chick: What?!
Dude: Well, I mean, look at you…
Chick: I’m going to tell your mom about this.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Mik
