Duke guy: Have you read Rebecca?
Duke girl: Of Sunnybrook Farm?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Archive for the ‘South Carolina’ Category
Lamarck: The Evidence I Was Waiting For!
Girl: That big lady across the room is staring at you again. You know she thinks you’re hot — I bet she’s picturing you naked right now.
Guy, rubbing his nipples: She wants my body.
Girl: In a minute she’s gonna look over here and do that to you.
Guy: Are you kidding? That bitch would have to grow longer arms so she could reach below her knees.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Calm Down, Feminists, He's Just Tara's Plastic Surgeon
Guy to friend: If they’re not Tara Reid, I don’t want to see their tits.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
David Hasselhoff? Really?
16-year-old on phone: So he tried selling you heroin?
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: That guy
So I Only Hurt Myself
Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.
–Beaufort, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….
When Interior Designer Boys Marry Landscaper Girls
Old lady: I think he's a delightful young man and so is she.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J.
Take That, Feudalism!
Four-year-old girl squatting over sand castle: Look, Mommy, I’m peeing! Look, Mommy, it’s a toilet!
–Isle of Palms, South Carolina
Hey, You're Hot — I'm Just Saying You're Skanky
Dude stopping intense make-out: Um, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…
Chick: What?!
Dude: Well, I mean, look at you…
Chick: I’m going to tell your mom about this.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Mik
You Know — He Was Married to Florence Henderson, Had Six Kids and a Maid…
Girl #1: And so I told him, ‘You don’t really look Tom Brady.’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, I’m hotter than he is.’ Yeah, this is why I don’t usually listen to him talk.
Girl #2: Oh, I know. He’s retarded, but he’s such a nice piece of ass.
Girl #1: Definitely. But I’d still take Tom Brady any day, right?
Girl #2: Wait, didn’t they replace him?
Girl #1: He’s one of their best players! Why would they do that?
Girl #2: The news anchor? Who are you talking about?
Girl #1: You mean Tom Brokaw?
Girl #2: Oh. Who’s Tom Brady?
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
For God's Sake, I'm Starting to Think, Here!
Man, to himself: I wish we were back at the condo so I could watch tv. I can only sit here and watch nothing for so long.
–Fripp Island, South Carolina