College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?
–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Do I wanna know?
Archive for the ‘Sorority girls’ Category
Our SATs Have Tanning and Waxing Sections
High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Here, Talk to My Dad While I Go Throw Up
Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!
–Panama City, Florida
Why Seagulls Are Known As the Obsessive Compulsives Of the Animal Kingdom
Ditzy college girl to friends, about seagulls on a dock: This might be stupid, but are those birds? They’re so evenly spaced!
–Lewiston, New York
Overheard by: Lauren
But They’d Immigrated to Sexas.
Random high school girl: So then I looked at her and said, “Shit, bitch, what’s your fucking problem?“
Random high school guy: Were they Mexican?
Girl: Uh-huh.
Guy: Well, were they sexy Mexicans?
Girl: Yes, deary, they were Sexicans.
–Rat Beach, California
Overheard by: where can i find them?
Craig Learns That Some Things Only Sound Like Fun
Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I’m gonna piss all over your pussy.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
And Lived Happily Ever After
20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…
–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida
We Know That Spidey-Sense Well
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
In the Ass
Sorority girl: He’s fucking GAY! How the fuck am I supposed to fuck a fucking gay guy?!
–Galveston, Texas
Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
