Archive for the ‘Size’ Category

I’m Look­ing to Up­grade

Woman walk­er #1: I would nev­er go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are al­ways wrin­kled, and he does­n’t show­er.
Woman walk­er #2: Ugh.
Woman walk­er #1: Be­sides, he smokes.
Woman walk­er #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walk­er #1: I know, but I nev­er date smok­ers.

–Lake Mi­ra­mar, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: El Meech

Nev­er Met a Sim­i­le Yet I Could­n’t Swal­low

Stoned nerd (talk­ing about his sub or­der): I’ve got six inch­es!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the les­bian choice, a fuckin’ sand­wich. Cuz the sand­wich is like a vagi­na and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I to­tal­ly un­der­stand. And I’m okay with that.

–Wawa, Re­hoboth Beach, Delaware