Drunk dude to another: Yeah, my dad has really big thighs!
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Overheard by: i dont know
Archive for the ‘Size’ Category
And Often Swim in Water or Other Liquid.
Loud woman, about sting rays: They have a six-foot wingspan of five to six feet.
–Sea Life Park, Honolulu, Hawaii
Gidget Goes Commutative
Chick: Fifteen hundred isn’t a lot. That’s like a thousand… and five hundred.
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Alexis
Weirdest. Carnival Game, Ever.
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I’ll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
12-Year-Old Boys
Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?
–Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Yeah, Congratulations on Having Unprotected Prison Sex
Girl #1: Hey! I’m suprised you’re even alive after last night!
Girl #2: Barely…and if Sharon realizes that there is a two-hour period where she doesn’t know where Aaron and I were, Rikki’s gonna be really mad… She’s already mad and she has no idea what happened.
Girl #1: What? Why, what the hell happened when I went to bed?
Girl #2: Well, Sharon thinks Aaron and I were just cuddling since it was such a small bed we were sharing and that I just felt bad that he had to sleep on the floor, but Rikki is really convinced we hooked up.
Girl #1: Well, did you?
Girl #2: Obviously, but we were in Dan’s room instead, so she doesn’t even know what she’s talking about… Wait, you’re not mad I hooked up with him, are you?
Girl #1: God, no! I’m proud that you managed to do it in a cottage that small and no one knew! I was against your wall and I had no idea! High five!
–Wasaga Beach, Canadia
Overheard by: I’m Proud Too
I’m Looking to Upgrade
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn’t shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.
–Lake Miramar, California
Overheard by: El Meech
He Only Put It in My Mouth, But My Ass Was Still Sore
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
She’ll Have a Flashback to This Moment, Years Later in the Back of a Car
Four-year-old girl (disappointed, looking at a jellyfish): I’ve never seen one of these before…but I thought it would be longer.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: I Was Surprised Too
Except She Was Grape Flavored
Teen girl reading rope candy wrapper at snack bar: 24 inches of flavor and fun!
Random middle aged hobo: Sounds like a midget I used to date!
–San Clemente, California
