Young kid: Awww look, you were right. Now I don’t get to punch you. –Vero Beach, Florida
Mom to screaming eight-year-old boy: I'm going to throw you in the pool if you don't behave.
Eight-year-old boy: Are you crazy? I'll get an ear infection! –Resort Restaurant, Dominican Republic Overheard by: Tanya from NY
Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis! –Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six-year-old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn't leave us alone. –Bridgetown, Barbados
Little surfer kid pointing to large black lady: Look, a whale turd. –New Symrna, Florida
Babysitter: Hey, do you want to build a sandcastle?
Kid: Yeah! These [feet buried under sand] can be our slave cabins!
Babysitter: Uh, I think it’s time we go swimming. –Folly Beach, Charleston, South Carolina
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might. –Destin, Florida
Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed! –Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Overheard by: beach*blonde
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I've got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head! –The Hamptons, New York
Whiny little boy: Mo-ooom, it’s hot!
Mom: Stop that! Whining makes you hot. –Isle of Palms, South Carolina Overheard by: Laura and John