Five-year-old urchin: Look how much birds there is.
New York yuppie #1: Um…
New York yuppie #2: Yeah, I hard it too.
–Mini Golf Course, North Wildwod, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Archive for the ‘Should've used a condom’ Category
I’m Rethinking the Joint Custody Arrangement
Mother taking away son’s boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don’t deserve a child!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gaby Young
KKK Just So Stories
Little surfer kid pointing to large black lady: Look, a whale turd.
–New Symrna, Florida
“Arf-Arf” Means “Give Me the Meat or Die!”
Six-year-old boy running with hot dog in hand, chased by leash-less Doberman Pinscher: Look, Dad!
Suddenly-observant father: No! Drop that meat!
Six-year-old boy, still running with hot dog in hand: But Dad, I’m learning to speak dog!
–Ocean Beach’s Dog Beach, California
Overheard by: fishwhisperer
Oh, Like You’ve Never Been Caught Playing with Your Wand?
Magician to seven-year-old boy: Get your hands out of your pockets! God sees everything!
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Where Do You Live, Again?
10-year-old boy: My mom is such a fucking slut.
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: nicole
As Required by State Law
Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: beach*blonde
She Told Me She Got That from a Rough-Trade Escort!
Kid #1: [Inaudible.]Kid #2: That’s the noise your mom made when I punched her in the eye with my dick.
–Beach restroom, Grand Haven, Michigan
It’s Spelled ‘Wilde,’ but You’ve Got the General Idea
Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!
–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York
A Nice One, for Daddy
Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I’m going to build a jail!
–Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio
Overheard by: Pale Kid
