Kid #1: [Inaudible.]Kid #2: That’s the noise your mom made when I punched her in the eye with my dick.
–Beach restroom, Grand Haven, Michigan
Archive for the ‘Should've used a condom’ Category
It’s Spelled ‘Wilde,’ but You’ve Got the General Idea
Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!
–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York
A Nice One, for Daddy
Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I’m going to build a jail!
–Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio
Overheard by: Pale Kid
Where Did You Even Get a Bikini Top?
Woman with three-year-old boy: Dude, you are freaking mommy out!
–Beach 6, Presque Isle, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Kat
Would This Lecture Be More Effective If I Demonstrated with a Raw Egg?
Man: Remember to say no to crack, Joseph. Okay?
Little boy: Huh?
–Indiana Dunes State Park, Indiana
Overheard by: Breet
It’s French for “Goes Directly to Your Thighs”
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can’t have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
I Don’t Care What Anybody Says — Paint Is a Food
Six-year-old boy: I had to take a second year of kindergarten.
Dad: Just like your old man.
–Point Lookout Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Sex Tourism’s Most Popular Souvenir
Random guy to little boy: Hey, you have fun today?
Little boy: Yeah, sure, but I still haven’t found those crabs.
–Hilo, Hawaii
Overheard by: Gwen
What Kind Of Example Are You Setting?
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I’ve got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
Nothing Worse Than a Black Forest Caca
Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jen
