Chubby eight-year-old boy, walking and kicking sand up with his feet: Woah! Ma! Look at this! They've even got real sand here!
Exasperated mom, clutching French fries: No shit! It's real sand! Buying fake sand would be dumb. Everyone would steal it.
–The Bahamas
Overheard by: Fake sand maker
Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: beach*blonde
12-year-old girl: Mom! She’s throwing up pickles in the pool!
–Ixtapa, Mexico
Five-year-old urchin: Look how much birds there is.
New York yuppie #1: Um…
New York yuppie #2: Yeah, I hard it too.
–Mini Golf Course, North Wildwod, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Little boy: Mommy, do you know this?
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: Do you know this?
Mom: What, honey? I know everything.
Little boy: You're crazy.
Mom: Yeah, I knew this.
–Provincetown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Just waiting for a lobster roll
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I've got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
Pissed off mom to crying sons: You're goddamned right, we're leaving and we're never coming back!
–Rye Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Mother, holding one son in the ocean and calling another on shore: See? The water's fantastic. You have nothing to worry about.
Four-year-old son, crying: I don't want to die here!
–Palm Beach, Aruba
Kayaking girl #1: Mom, where do we go?
Kayaking mom: Oh, why don't we go to the other side of the island?
Kayaking girl #2: No, we can't! I heard they had guns and spears over there–I don't wanna get shot!
–Sugarbay, St. Thomas, South Africa
Overheard by: yams