Archive for the ‘Shopping’ Category

Still Does­n’t Ex­plain Ted Kennedy, Though

Girl #1: Things hap­pen for a rea­son, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It’s prob­a­bly good that I’m not rich. If I were rich, I’d be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I’d still love you, but you’d be a to­tal bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (to­tal val voice) I’m go­ing shop­ping! (nor­mal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that’s why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we’d be ter­ri­ble peo­ple.

–Nathan’s, Coney Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: Won­der­ing if I sound like this to oth­er peo­ple

All the Good In­den­tured Servi­tude Po­si­tions Have Been Out­sourced to In­dia

Amer­i­can girl #1: You know what I want to get while I’m here in In­dia? A Sher­pa. That would be so cool.
Amer­i­can girl #2: What’s a Sher­pa?
Amer­i­can girl #1: It’s, like, a peo­ple en­dem­ic to the Hi­malayas. You can buy one, and they car­ry your stuff for you.
Amer­i­can girl #2: Oooh, that sounds nice!

–Goa, In­dia

Over­heard by: Wish I were Cana­di­an