Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

She Says We Got Married

College girl on cell: Last night? I don’t remember what happened last night! All I know is I woke up naked spooning with Claire!

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: The Classy Girls Vacation in Jersey

Your Editors Beg to Differ

Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.

–Pacific Beach, California

STI's Don't Discriminate, Dear Reader

Hot 20-year-old guy #1: I'm still dripping.
Hot 20-year-old guy #2: Dude, you banged that chick like a month ago and you're still dripping?
Hot 20-year-old guy #1: Dude, duh! She was Latina!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia