Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth! –Arcata, California
Blonde in bikini #1: She said she made eye contact with it three times.
Older man reading magazine: It was a five-year-old. That's what kids do.
Blonde in bikini #2: It was definitely not a five-year-old. –Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Person #1: I don't want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why? We came all the way to the beach…
Person #1: It's cold in the water.
Person #2: You were the one that wanted to come.
Person #1: Yes, but I didn't want to go in the water.
Person #2: Why ever not?
Person #1: There are crabs in the water. I don't want people to think I'm promiscuous. –Plymouth Beach, Virginia
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions… –Tampa, Florida
Seven-year old boy: Those boys over there are looking at you.
Bronzed teen sister in bikini: Oh really? [Looks pleased.]
Seven-year old boy: Yeah. I guess it’s cause you have that weird sunburn. –Liberia, Costa Rica
Ditzy blonde tourist: I'm in New York City, and I have no idea what to do. –Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Mimi
Woman on cell: No, it wasn’t a yeast infection. It’s not a fishy smell, and I have cramps. I never get cramps!… Yeah…Maybe that’s why he’s not calling me back. –Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Kimmie David
Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then. –Ocean City, Maryland Overheard by: karen g.
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool. –Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Texan: Yo! Dude, the waves are so huge! I just broke my longboard in two an’ almost got killed… that was awesome! –Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic