Female Hamptons yuppie: Tequila goes straight to my crotch.
–The Hamptons, New York
Overheard by: Mike
Archive for the ‘Sensory Experiences’ Category
Here’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to Explain
Girl #1: Dude, my retainer smells nasty!
Girl #2: Just put a little bleach on it.
Girl #1: Wouldn’t that kill me?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it will make your teeth whiter.
–Tampa, Florida
*Gasp*
30-something blonde: I was really calm, which is such a feat for me. Especially this day, since I had just bought an ice cream cone and the bottom of the cone was all soggy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
“Something About Mary” Just Made It To Australia
Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!
–Terrigal, Australia
Miss Labia Science Couldn’t Help Feeling Proud
Teenage girl to friend: Ew! You just slapped your condensation on me!
–Block Island, Rhode Island
Overheard by: diorette
…I Swear It Was a Valid CPR Technique!
Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies?
–North Bondi, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Then It Won’t Bother You So Much When I Lick My Anus
Preppy girl: Just close your eyes and envision me as a black lab puppy.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Can Ground Pigs’ Rectum Ever Really Spoil?
Chick #1: Do you want your sandwich?
Chick #2: Nah, it hasn’t been refrigerated.
Chick #1: Well, it’s just lunch meat, it’s not real meat anyways.
Chick #2: Yea…
–Lake Tahoe, California
But Why Is It Purple?
Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
How the Hell Would I Know That?
Five-year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie-board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Lilian
