Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.
–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Lorraine
Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category
Story Of My Life, Ma'am.
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven't gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
You, Not So Much
Teen girl #1: The sand is so hot!
Teen girl #2: That’s why God put the sand near the water.
Teen girl #1: God was a genius!
–Fair Haven Beach, New York
Overheard by: Jane
I'm Getting a Resurrection
Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth!
–Arcata, California
Critics Rave, "The Little Mersavior Is a Rollicking, Non-Canonical Laugh Riot"
Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It's like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Incredulous
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: 'Is That on the Table? Why Wasn't I Informed?!'
Big jock: We just need to give America back to the Muslims.
–Barceloneta Beach, Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: Confesed Passerby
Instead, How About 'Beano' or 'Drano'?
Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.
–Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: $ue
I'll Defend Your Irrational Beliefs to the Death
Creepy guy: Yeah, so you're Mormon?
Army guy: Yeah. I am.
Creepy guy: Good man, I respect that. I'm Italian and Irish.
–Ala Moana Beach, Hawaii
Overheard by: trying to tan
'Cause, If So, It's Totally Your Turn
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob?
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Laughing
…Starring Will.i.am As John the Baptist
Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined.
–Palm Coast, Florida
Overheard by: Dahbuke