Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

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Girl with text­book: What’s the cap­i­tal of the Unit­ed States?
Boy: Wash­ing­ton, DC?
Girl with text­book: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with text­book: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Is­land?

–New York

And Not the Ex­cit­ing Kind

Lit­tle girl: What does that sign mean?
Fa­ther: That means ‘Pedes­tri­ans,’ sweet­ie.
Lit­tle girl: Are we pedes­tri­ans?
Fa­ther: Yes, we are.
Lit­tle girl: Oh… I thought we were Catholics.

–Beach near Am­s­ter­dam, North Hol­land, Nether­lands

Over­heard by: Daan

In the Same Way That Tel­e­van­ge­lists Heal

Lit­tle boy: Mom, Jew­ish peo­ple are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Lit­tle boy: So why are they in Mi­a­mi?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with wa­ter, though.
Lit­tle boy: Oh. What about black peo­ple?
Mom: Sweet­ie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m heal­ing the world.

–Mi­a­mi, Flori­da

Is He Wear­ing a Patch or a Kip­pah?

Guy: So how’s Bob?
Girl: He’s okay. They went in and found the tu­mor and took it out. They still need to do a biop­sy to see what it is, but they think they got it all.
Guy: Yeah, but how is he?
Girl: He says he’s got a big headache.
Guy: Well, yeah, of course he’s got a headache!
Girl: Yeah, huh? The guy did just have brain surgery. But you know Bob. He was back in busi­ness on Fri­day, still sell­ing herb, but now he’s got a patch on his head. “We got­ta get back to nor­mal!“
Guy: That’s a New York Jew for you.
Girl: You said it, not me.

–Coney Is­land, New York

Over­heard by: Sun­ny Reis­er