“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
Girl: I’m such a Jew when it comes to…
Boy, exasperated: Why can’t you just say “frugal”?!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I’m not drinking for Ramadan.
–Auckland, New Zealand
Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.
–Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: $ue
Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.
–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Lorraine
Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It’s like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Incredulous
Teen girl #1: Have you been going to church lately?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I found a new church I really like.
Teen girl #1: Really?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, it like smells all creepy, and, like, they speak in tongues. It is really scary, so I will probably go to this one!
Teen girl #1: Cool. Maybe I’ll go with you.
–Shilshole Beach, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why do those people have goatskins on?
19-year-old boy: I want to make a shirt that says “Keep Allah out of downtown New York” and wear it to Ground Zero.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Couldn’t Agree More
Outraged hippie chick: Someone drew a pentagram in my Zen garden!
–Seal Beach, California
Mother, dressing son: Wow, your hair dried gorgeously! You’re such a Jew.
–Cape Henlopen, Delaware
Overheard by: KDP
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
