Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I’m not drinking for Ramadan.
–Auckland, New Zealand
Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category
Instead, How About ‘Beano’ or ‘Drano’?
Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.
–Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: $ue
You Put that Soul Back Where You Got It, Young Man!
Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.
–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Lorraine
Critics Rave, “The Little Mersavior Is a Rollicking, Non-Canonical Laugh Riot”
Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It’s like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Incredulous
She Wandered Into a Foreign Film Festival at the Bijou
Teen girl #1: Have you been going to church lately?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I found a new church I really like.
Teen girl #1: Really?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, it like smells all creepy, and, like, they speak in tongues. It is really scary, so I will probably go to this one!
Teen girl #1: Cool. Maybe I’ll go with you.
–Shilshole Beach, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why do those people have goatskins on?
Americans Think the Right to Be Stupid Is an Obligation
19-year-old boy: I want to make a shirt that says “Keep Allah out of downtown New York” and wear it to Ground Zero.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Couldn’t Agree More
One Of Those Goth Buddhist Monks?
Outraged hippie chick: Someone drew a pentagram in my Zen garden!
–Seal Beach, California
How Jewish Mothers Coddle Their Sons into Gibbering, Bedwetting, Compulsive Masturbators
Mother, dressing son: Wow, your hair dried gorgeously! You’re such a Jew.
–Cape Henlopen, Delaware
Overheard by: KDP
In Other Words, She’d Fuck Him Jewish
Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.
–Newport, Oregon
Overheard by: Sonora
Faster Than a Golden Calf. Stronger Than All 12 Plagues…
“Jews for Jesus” guy: You like Superman? Take this pamphlet. Read it with all your friends. It will be story time!
Hands out pamphlet that metaphorically describes Jesus as Superman.
Girl: I didn’t realize Jews worshipped Superman.
–Jones Beach, New York
