Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Mom’s Back­up Plan was to Pre­tend to Drown

Girl: Am I go­ing to have big boobs?
Flat-chest­ed mom: Um, prob­a­bly not.
Girl: But boys like big boobs!
Flat-chest­ed mom: On­ly dumb boys do, be­cause on­ly dumb girls have big boobs.
Girl, af­ter think­ing for a minute: Grand­ma has huge ones.
Flat-chest­ed mom: Oooh, look at the pret­ty birds!

–Pana­ma City Beach, Flori­da

Let Him Ride (the Waves) on Me?

Un­der­age girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fuck­ing hot.
Bar­tender, sar­cas­ti­cal­ly: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Un­der­age girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surf­board. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.

–The Seafood Bar, The Break­ers, Palm Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: The JAP

Lamar­ck: The Ev­i­dence I Was Wait­ing For!

Girl: That big la­dy across the room is star­ing at you again. You know she thinks you’re hot — I bet she’s pic­tur­ing you naked right now.
Guy, rub­bing his nip­ples: She wants my body.
Girl: In a minute she’s gonna look over here and do that to you.
Guy: Are you kid­ding? That bitch would have to grow longer arms so she could reach be­low her knees.

–Myr­tle Beach, South Car­oli­na