New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category
I'm Laughing because Real Men Don't Care about Breast Size
Man: What’s with the safety pin holding your top together?
Flat-chested girl: Oh, you know, my boobs are just so big that my top busted! [Man bursts out laughing.] Okay, it wasn’t that funny…
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: gal in black
Yet Another Dream that'll Be Made Possible by the Childhood Obesity Epidemic
Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
I Thought That Was an Extension of Your Neck-Fat
Fat black girl running in bikini: Yo, bitch, why you didn’t tell me my titty was hangin’ out?! Shit!
Innocent, spooked bystander girl: What?!
Fat black girl running in bikini: Never mind, bitch!
–Brighton Beach, New York
…Since She Has a Baby in Her Belly.
Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!
–Brighton Beach, New York
…I'm Sally, by the Way.
Girl to boy: Look at the sea otters! So romantic! …touch my breasts.
–Tacoma, Washington
Mom's Backup Plan was to Pretend to Drown
Girl: Am I going to have big boobs?
Flat-chested mom: Um, probably not.
Girl: But boys like big boobs!
Flat-chested mom: Only dumb boys do, because only dumb girls have big boobs.
Girl, after thinking for a minute: Grandma has huge ones.
Flat-chested mom: Oooh, look at the pretty birds!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
With Really Nice Tits
Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?
Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.
Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.
–Miami, Florida
But Then You Could Tuck Your Shorts under Them
Teen chick #1: I might want boobs like that.
Teen chick #2: Yeah, but then they’d get old and saggy.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: I.S.
Besides, She's Nine
Girl on phone with guy friend: You know, my sister just got her tits done for her birthday… I don’t want you fucking her.
–Jones Beach, New York