Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?
Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.
Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.
–Miami, Florida
Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category
Nude Beach Brain Teaser
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
What You Want to Steer Away from Is the Shield Volcano Kind
Tony: So, tell me about them.
Ralph: Her tits?
Tony: Yeah.
Ralph: Okay, you know those kinda tits — the Mount Everest kind?
Tony: Yeah, yeah…
Ralph: And you know those kinda tits — the Mount Whitney kind?
Tony: Uh-huh.
Ralph: They were a cross between those.
Tony: Ohhh. Solid, man, solid.
–The Hamptons, New York
Doctors Surgically Removed Her Husband
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.
–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Andrea
Mom’s Backup Plan was to Pretend to Drown
Girl: Am I going to have big boobs?
Flat-chested mom: Um, probably not.
Girl: But boys like big boobs!
Flat-chested mom: Only dumb boys do, because only dumb girls have big boobs.
Girl, after thinking for a minute: Grandma has huge ones.
Flat-chested mom: Oooh, look at the pretty birds!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
I Always Knew the Norse Had Their Fingers on the Pulse
Guy staring at topless girl speaks rapidly in Norwegian, then: Topless! Yay!
–Fraser Island, Queensland, Australia
Internet Porn: Explained
Guy on bus to friends: So the longer those titties were in front of me, the happier I became.
–Brisbane, Australia
That’s Just Nature’s Way of Telling You They’re Done
Teenage girl #1: Are my nip nips showing?
Teenage girl #2: Your what whats?
Teenage girl #1: (points) My nips. It’s blinking cold, you know.
Teenage girl #2: Er… Ohh, that. Nope, can’t see a thing.
Teenage girl #1: You better check from time to time, okay? Like seriously. I don’t care, I need to poke them back in.
Teenage girl #2: But even if you poke it back in, it just pops back out like nobody’s bussiness! What do you do then, keep poking?
–Sunway Lagoon, Malaysia
Overheard by: babybhang
I’m Laughing because Real Men Don’t Care about Breast Size
Man: What’s with the safety pin holding your top together?
Flat-chested girl: Oh, you know, my boobs are just so big that my top busted! [Man bursts out laughing.] Okay, it wasn’t that funny…
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: gal in black
Unlike All You Nasty Boys
Girl to friend: It’s so hot. I’m icing my nipples, and they’re not even getting erect.
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Yep, it’s really that hot
