Biker to biker babe: We could hide a homeless guy between your boobs and he could eat forever.
–Holiday Inn, New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Beeeej
Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category
I Thought That Was an Extension of Your Neck-Fat
Fat black girl running in bikini: Yo, bitch, why you didn’t tell me my titty was hangin’ out?! Shit!
Innocent, spooked bystander girl: What?!
Fat black girl running in bikini: Never mind, bitch!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Can’t Be Hard to Find in a Bee Cup
Southern blonde to older, female family members: Aaaah, there’s a bee in my titties!
(commotion ensues)
Sketchy guy, loudly: I’ll look for it if you want.
–San Juan Beach, Puerto Rico
Yet Another Dream that’ll Be Made Possible by the Childhood Obesity Epidemic
Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
Like Nature’s Turkey-Timers, They Tell Me When I’m Done
Guy (getting out of water): It’s okay now, my nipples are hard.
–Pensacola, Florida
…You Could Almost Ignore the Missing Teeth
Bro to another: Tequila out of her nipples, and…
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Lamarck: The Evidence I Was Waiting For!
Girl: That big lady across the room is staring at you again. You know she thinks you’re hot — I bet she’s picturing you naked right now.
Guy, rubbing his nipples: She wants my body.
Girl: In a minute she’s gonna look over here and do that to you.
Guy: Are you kidding? That bitch would have to grow longer arms so she could reach below her knees.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
And Well on Her Way to Ruining Them with Sun Exposure and Heroin
Teen girl: I guess she has nice boobs, but they’re almost too nice.
Teen boy: Hey, give her a break. She’s only 13.
–Spofford Lake, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Nadia
And Were Shaped Like Either a Horse or a Teacup, Depending Upon Who You Ask
New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
They’re the Katie Couric Of Mammaries!
Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they’re far perkier.
–Uvongo Beach, South Africa
Overheard by: dizziebean
