Guy to friend: If they’re not Tara Reid, I don’t want to see their tits.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category
Better, I Suppose, Than ‘Her Boobs Were Kind of Saggy So She Just Tucked Them Into Her Shorts.’
Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.
–Warren Dunes, Michigan
Overheard by: Syd O’Banion
I Always Knew the Norse Had Their Fingers on the Pulse
Guy staring at topless girl speaks rapidly in Norwegian, then: Topless! Yay!
–Fraser Island, Queensland, Australia
Ad: Got Grandma?
Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
…As My Science Fair Project.
Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I’m gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: mar
Your Editors Have Paid Extra for Titty Gum– True Story
Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can’t have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don’t want that! It’s titty gum.
Annoying girl: It’s not titty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your titties?
Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!
–Canadia
…and He’s Living With Jose.
Mom: Stop staring at that woman’s chest.
Tween boy: Dad said it’s okay to look as long as I don’t touch.
Mom: That’s why we aren’t married anymore.
–Jax Beach, Florida
But I Was Just About to Tie Them in a Bow!
Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Insert Vibrating Ring Joke Here
Teen boy, to anorexic teen girl #1: Why do you keep your phone in your thong?
Anorexic teen girl #2: Well, where else is she going to put it? She has no boobs.
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sam
We Just Need to Figure Out a Way to Get Government Funding
Biker to biker babe: We could hide a homeless guy between your boobs and he could eat forever.
–Holiday Inn, New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Beeeej
