Guido hitting on underage girls: I’m gonna go home and shave my tits, and then we’re having a house party.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category
Women's Locker Rooms Are Wasted on Straight Chicks
Petite blonde with small breasts: I have my own boobs… I don't care about anyone else's boobs.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Without Big Boobs, You're Gonna Need a Lot More Than Water Tricks
Tween girl: Look I can float, and I don’t have big boobs!
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jenn
…You Could Almost Ignore the Missing Teeth
Bro to another: Tequila out of her nipples, and…
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
And Were Shaped Like Either a Horse or a Teacup, Depending Upon Who You Ask
New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
I'm Laughing because Real Men Don't Care about Breast Size
Man: What’s with the safety pin holding your top together?
Flat-chested girl: Oh, you know, my boobs are just so big that my top busted! [Man bursts out laughing.] Okay, it wasn’t that funny…
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: gal in black
Yet Another Dream that'll Be Made Possible by the Childhood Obesity Epidemic
Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
I Thought That Was an Extension of Your Neck-Fat
Fat black girl running in bikini: Yo, bitch, why you didn’t tell me my titty was hangin’ out?! Shit!
Innocent, spooked bystander girl: What?!
Fat black girl running in bikini: Never mind, bitch!
–Brighton Beach, New York
…Since She Has a Baby in Her Belly.
Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!
–Brighton Beach, New York
…I'm Sally, by the Way.
Girl to boy: Look at the sea otters! So romantic! …touch my breasts.
–Tacoma, Washington