Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Race’ Category
We’re a Low-Humidity Race, My Friend
Kid #1: Hey ‑how you gonna go in the water, come back and be dry already?
Kid #2: Cause I’m black.
Kid #1: [Pause.] Hey, shut up.
–Brighton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Emily
Usually We Just Mock Americans
Chick: So, what’s there to do for fun around here?
Lifeguard: I dont know, I’m Canadian.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: NSBS Geo
You Are? I Just Thought You Tanned All Year
Girl on cell: What? Baby, what are you talking about? Why would you want to adopt a Negro?
–Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: Hana
So God Does Play Dice With the Universe!
Girl: He gets so tan!
Guy: I tell you, you look at his hand and you’d think that man was black!
Girl: You know, his mom’s husband is black. That’s why we tease him about that so much.
Guy: Really? His step-dad is black?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Wouldn’t you be pissed?
Girl: Yeah, well, his mom treats him like shit anyway.
Brief pause.
Girl: I’m rethinking the doctor thing.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Yeah, surgeon or oncologist or whatever I become. I wouldn’t be able to have a family.
–Rehoboth, Delaware
Overheard by: kristen
What? I Didn’t Say It Was Me.
60-something African-American beggar: Send a nice Jewish boy through college. Send a nice Jewish boy through college…
–Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: drsteve
When the Game Show Network Merged With the History Channel
Girl to friend: I’m going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.
–Tampa, Florida
Tonight’s Movie: When Harry Punched Sally
Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.
–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: knee coal
It Was Strange; Their Necks Were Chained Together…
Girl #1: I think more black people are making their way into the North Shore now!
Girl #2: I know! Yesterday I was at the beach, and I saw a couple of them. But they were being led around by some guy…
–Crane’s Beach, Ipswich, Massachusetts
Saves Us the Effort Of Learning Unpronounceable Names
White college girl: Every time I see them, I’m like, “Asians!” and they’re like, “whitey!”
–Long Beach, California
