Dude: Yo, that guy’s Asian as hell!
–Nag’s Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: alxie
Archive for the ‘Race’ Category
It's in the Fine Print on the Coppertone Label
Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: KL
Not Our Sort at All
Preppy guy #1: God, this place totally sucks.
Preppy guy #2: No, it’s fine. You just need to embrace your inner boat person.
Preppy guy #1: Jeffy, I think these are motor boat people.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
I Fear the Day When I Am Asked to Jump
White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!
–Avon Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: NotFromJersey
I Was Hoping to Sustain Your Youthful Innocence a Bit Longer. We Hate Black People
Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Chad
In the Same Way That Televangelists Heal
Little boy: Mom, Jewish people are from the desert, right?
Mom: Yeah.
Little boy: So why are they in Miami?
Mom: The beach is like a desert — with water, though.
Little boy: Oh. What about black people?
Mom: Sweetie, they’re just tan. They’re all just tan. Now go play. [pause] It’s like I’m healing the world.
–Miami, Florida
Ugh, Those Terrorists?
20-something girl, talking about new guy she's dating: Yeah, he's kind of indie.
20-something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20-something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
When the Game Show Network Merged With the History Channel
Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.
–Tampa, Florida
Why didn't Someone Remind Me That Filipinos Speak Tagalog?
Teen:Yeah, we met this black guy and he spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(silence from the group)
Teen: Yeah, he was this black guy who spoke Japanese, Filipino, and Mexican.
(continued silence)
Teen: This black guy spoke Japanese, Filipino and Mexican… Ohhh, dude! Haha!
–Hermosa Beach, California
And Yet You Paddle Like a White Lesbian
Inner city youth on kayak #1: You're paddling like a nigga.
Inner city youth on kayak #2: Shut up, you're black too!
–Catalina Island, California
Overheard by: DanO