Surfer bro: Wait, isn't Barack Obama one-half Jamaican?
–Santa Cruz, California
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
How New Jersey Got Most of Its Population
Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach.
–Pacific Beach, California
Don't Wish Your Life Away. Let Me Do It.
Little boy: Mommy, is it still morning?
Mom: No, honey, it’s nighttime now.
Little boy: But you told me it was morning five minutes ago!
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Arya
No, Sweetie. Daddy Got His in a Cheap Motel Room
Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: Rick
It's the Proverbial 'Place Where the Sun Don't Shine'
Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.
–Stalis, Crete
Overheard by: Another pale girl
How to Come Out to Your Mom: A Teenager's Guide
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
Not That Kind Of Package
Girl #1: I'm hungry, let's get crepes!
Girl #2: What's a crepe?
Girl #1, after pause: It's like a package made out of a pancake.
–Santa Barbara, California
Let's Just Go to the Beach, Okay?
Girl #1: I’m glad we aren’t having earthquakes here like back in Cali.
Girl #2: It would suck coming over to Maui and then having an earthquake here.
Girl #1: Hey, can you feel an earthquake in a plane?
Girl #2: Um…
–Kihei, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Darcy
Did You Go to High School in North Carolina?
Dumb blonde: It's not “labia Menorah”?
Friend: No, that's the Jewish thing.
Dumb blonde: So what is it then?
–Siesta Key, Florida
No, There Has to Be at Least an Hour of Hijinks and Double Entendre First!
Foreign girl: Hello. I just bought this bike. I need a special instrument to raise the seat. Can you help me?
Guy #1: We might. Do you need a wrench?
Foreign girl: Oh. I don’t know…[giggles]Guy #2: Where are you from?
Foreign girl: Belarus.
Guy #1: Why did you decide to come to the US?
Foreign girl, excitedly: I came for work and pleasure! I work at Subway!
Guy #2: This is so stereotypical teen movie.
Foreign girl: Does that mean you can fix my bike?
Guy #1: Do you wanna come inside and get drunk with us?
–5 Kings Row, Dewey Beach, Delaware