Girl #1: Seriously, what are we going to do?
Girl #2: Take over the world?
–Boynton Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
Um, Birth?
Beach girl in group of people: Wait! Ellen DeGeneres is gay?! Since when?
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Colleen
America, in a Nutshell.
Redneck, looking at fish tank: How many of them there fish you reckon I could shoot?
–Ripley’s Aquarium, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Lost all hope in humanity
Um, Aren’t You Guys Supposed to Be Saying Your Vows?
Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don’t they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don’t want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can’t wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.
–Captiva Island, Florida
What If I Asked to Lick Your Ass?
Buff guy, after ordering an extra “floater” shot on top of his strawberry daiquiri: Is ordering that gay?
Friend: Not any gayer than drinking a daiquiri.
–Newport Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: ThoseGuys
Way Too Old For You
20-something guy: Hey, how old are you?
Young girl: I’m fifteen.
20-something guy, looking over to friend: Exactly my point.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Either That or a Fireman’s Ball
Walkie-talkie guy #1: What’s going on?! Why are all of the fire trucks going to the north end?
Walkie-talkie guy #2: There was probably some sort of emergency!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Or Am I Thinking Of Kim Jong-il?
Surfer bro: Wait, isn’t Barack Obama one-half Jamaican?
–Santa Cruz, California
After His Sex Change, Homer Simpson Moved to Vancouver
40-something woman: You’re from Turkey? What language do they speak there?
Turkish guy: Uh… Turkish.
40-something woman: There’s a language called Turkish? Really? Do a lot of people speak it?
Turkish guy: Well, yeah, more than a thousand years ago in central Asia…
40-something woman, interrupting: Chinese people speak Turkish? I didn’t know that!
–Vancouver, Canadia
Sand Killed My Father
Kid #1: After this, we should sunbathe.
Kid #2: I don’t want to sunbathe.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: I just don’t.
Kid #1: But then you can get a tan!
Kid #2: I don’t want a tan.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: Because it sounds like “sand,” and I hate sand.
–Camping Ground, Kerikeri, New Zealand
Overheard by: Kelly
