Little boy: Mommy, is it still morning?
Mom: No, honey, it’s nighttime now.
Little boy: But you told me it was morning five minutes ago!
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Arya
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
It's a Journey, Not a Destination
Girl #1: And she was like, “Is it too blonde?”
Girl #2: Ah! Like, you can never be too blonde!
Girl #1: Exactly.
–Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: J.J.
It's All Gone Downhill Since the Tooth Fairy Started Subcontracting
Lifeguard: What happened to your toenail?
Little boy: A monster carried it off a while ago. Around kindergarten, I think.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Super Sexy Woman
If Only There Was a Way We Could Both Get What We Want
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Matilda
Yet Another Dream that'll Be Made Possible by the Childhood Obesity Epidemic
Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
No, We're Practicing Civil Disobedience
Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?
–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
And You Weren't Even Drunk at the Time?? Blasphemy!
Teen: You guys went to bed at 11:30, what's wrong with you?
–Beach Lake, Pennsylvania
Without a Laserlike Focus, the Bud May Elude Me
Stoner #1: Do you want a Bud or…?
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: I also have Sam Adams Summers Ale.
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: And Bass Ale.
Stoner #2: No ales!
–Bonnet Shores, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I like Ales
Holy Crap, I Thought I Was in the US!
Girl: What kind of fish is this?
Waitress: Alaskan cod.
Girl: Do ya’ll catch that around here?
Waitress: Uh, no. [pointing] That’s the Gulf of Mexico.
–Seafood restaurant, Galveston Island, Texas
It's in the Fine Print on the Coppertone Label
Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: KL