Three-year-old girl, swaying her hips: Mommy, do I look like a teenager?
–Fire Island, New York
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
The Canadian Version Of The Hills Is Infinitely More Entertaining
Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that's all I ask. Is that too much to ask?
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Jericho
God Rolls an Icy White Blanket over the Water — Like a Pool Tarp
Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Travis
…That's How I Met You.
30 something guy standing at bar: So she asked me if I had ever slept with a stripper.
Friend: What did you say?
30 something guy: I told her the truth… I said “yeah, I slept with a stripper, of course.”
–Austin, Texas
Is That Where Tsunamis Come From?
Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!
–Shell Beach, California
Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up
Weren't You There?
Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
A Gentleman Would Refer to It as a Chipmunk
Beach-goer: Holy shit! Is that a squirrel in your panties?!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: BAJAZEUS
I'll Only Kiss You in Public Restrooms and Camera-Free Elevators
Chick #1: Why didn’t you kiss me at the pool?!
Chick #2: Because I don’t want to have an open relationship with you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Or Just That Labia Piercing?
10-year-old boy to younger sister: Did you get a tramp stamp?
–Pt. Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kim
Remember When The Tree Had Real Candles?
Salty sea dog: And the new LED Christmas lights? They’ll never burn down your Christmas tree. You’ll have to do that yourself.
–Morro Bay, California
Overheard by: Colin