Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

To Be Fair, What American Would?

Woman, putting lotion on man's back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you're 40! Okay, now you're scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I'd explain it to you but you wouldn't understand.

–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ishkabibble

We Raised Him Free Range

Four-year-old sprays woman with his giant water gun, and doesn’t stop after she warns him repeatedly.

Woman: I’m going to talk to his parents! [Stomps to nearby cafe.] Who is responsible for this child?
Parent: Sorry. What did the little fucker do this time?

–Marmaris Beach, Turkey

Or Was That Rottweilers?

Female tourist: So, how do they know where the islands are every day?
Male tourist: They’re chained to the sea floor so they don’t drift too far.

–Cinnamon Bay, St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands

Overheard by: stephen

And because She's Your Sister

Drunk law student, down on one knee: Will you marry me?
Drunk girl he just met, giggling: Of course!
Drunk law student to friend five minutes later: That’s not binding if it’s just oral, right?

–Daytona Beach, Florida

And Started Wearing Prada Loafers

Girl #1: So…plans for tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, actually. I'm going out with Beto. He just moved to Niterói with his boyfriend.
Girl #1: Wait. What? His *boyfriend*? So he finally came out, eh?
Girl #2: Well…he didn't come out per se. He just said, “So, this is my boyfriend, Bruno.”

–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil