Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.
–Santa Cruz, California
Friend #1: You know who’s really hot? Megan Fox.
Friend #2 (in nonchalant agreement): Yeah, she’s really hot. (more excitedly) You know who else is hot?
Friend #1: Who?
Friend #2: That brunette chick from the Transformers movie – damn.
Friend #1: Megan Fox?
Friend #2: Oh.
–Guarujá, São Paulo, Brazil
(guy #2 is wearing a jacket in 100-degree weather)
Guy #1: Why can’t you just wear shorts like a normal person?
Guy #2: Why can’t you drink milk with your eyes?
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: It’s science, bitch!
–Miami, Florida
Tourist: Hey, the water is coming up really high.
Local: Yeah, it’s definitely a high tide today.
Tourist: How come it does that? I mean, what makes the water come up so high?
Local: Well, let’s just say it has a lot to do with the moon.
–Pismo-Oceano Dunes, California
Overheard by: janie
Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…
–Pacific Beach, California
Clothed guy: Hey, got any change?
Nude guy, waving his hands in the air: I got no pockets!
–Wreck Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?
–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Dude: What does that mean anyways, ‘Catch you on the flip side,’ huh?
Chick: Yeah, where the fuck is the flip side?
–Dockweiler Beach, Playa del Rey, California
Overheard by: kitty
Girl #1: So have you spoken to him at all?
Girl #2: A little. I think he might be ready to get back together soon.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #2: Well, this might be overanalyzing, but his last move on Scrabulous was “sorry”.
–New Jersey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
