Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.
–Pensacola Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Penis’ Category
No, That's What Your Mother Refuses to Give Me
Guy to daughter: Okay, here's one: Oink, oink!
Daughter: That's a pig!
Guy: Cock-a-doodle-do!
Daughter: That's a…morning chicken.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Here4theLaughs
Key West Is Famous for Its Two-Legged Appetite Suppressant
Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we're hungry. We're gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There's plenty of sausages right here!
–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida
Overheard by: K
Is This Thing On?
Bikini girl #1: Oh my god, he was totally sleeping, and his member was, like, totally awake. Like, hello?!
Bikini girl #2, giggling: Yeah, hello?!
Bikini girl #3, giggling: Hello?!
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
I'll Need a Ruler, Some Lotion, and a Box of Tissues
Girl: Check out that guy’s package.
Guy: What?
Girl: Look at the guy in the Speedo.
Guy: No.
Girl: Just look. He’s huge.
Guy: Damn. You’re right. I’m embarrassed now. And I feel a little gay. I’m going to the bathroom.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Rob
I'll Take "What's in Her Underwear?" for $200, Alex
Redhead: Holy shit! A penis!
Blonde: What?
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Boots
Hence My Invasion Of Your Sudetenland
Guy: My dick has no boundaries.
–Miami, Florida
Where Would Human Civilization Be Without That Phrase?
Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It's done, there's nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That's what he said.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tara
Guy: You're Heinous! This Is a Gun
Girl #1: But you were dancing with that guy…
Girl #2: Which guy?
Girl #1: The guy with the hard-on.
Girl #2: Which one?
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Ladle
It's Spelled 'Wilde,' but You've Got the General Idea
Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!
–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York