Wife: Murray! Cover up! Your business is hanging out of your bathing suit!
Husband, nonplussed: That business closed down years ago.
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Larry
Wife: Murray! Cover up! Your business is hanging out of your bathing suit!
Husband, nonplussed: That business closed down years ago.
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Larry
Bell boy: I applied to be a dancer on a cruise ship, and I totally had the body for it. I had a six pack, borderline eight pack. Plus, I have a mango dick. What am I supposed to do with that now?
–Honolulu, Hawaii
Drunk guy to drunk friends: I love you from the base of my penis!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Allison
Tween boy #1: It is bigger than yours.
Tween boy #2: No, it’s not. Besides, it doesn’t matter. They are only sand castles.
Tween boy #1: I wasn’t talking about that.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Guy: I don’t understand that song. I mean, how can hips not lie? That’s like saying, “my nipples don’t argue.“
Friend: Well, my cock never complains.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Overheard by: raerae
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Nine-year-old boy #1 (yelling): My penis! My penis just closed!
(pause)
Nine-year-old boy #2 (yelling): Cool!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chandler Smith
College girl #1: Oh my God! Look at his bulge!
College girl #2: He must have a huge dick.
Random lady: Sluts!
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: tanned tourist
Girl to boy showing a picture: This is for Valentine’s Day.
Boy: Umm… That’s really disturbing, is it a bouquet of penises?
Girl: It’s not disturbing! It’s for Valentine’s. (pause) Wait, did you just say “penises”?
–Tampa, Florida
Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: H K
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist