Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

We Raised Him Free Range

Four-year-old sprays woman with his giant water gun, and doesn’t stop after she warns him repeatedly.

Woman: I’m going to talk to his parents! [Stomps to nearby cafe.] Who is responsible for this child?
Parent: Sorry. What did the little fucker do this time?

–Marmaris Beach, Turkey

Another Great Time-Killer? "Pregnant or Fat?"

Daughter: Sorry I’m late.
Mom: That’s okay. We were playing ‘Tourist or not?’ with the passersby. Look — those two — obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play ‘Jew or not?’ when I get bored.

–Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: Jew tourist

Britney and K-Fed in Five Years

Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.

–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia