Archive for the ‘Parents’ Category

We Raised Him Free Range

Four-year-old sprays woman with his gi­ant wa­ter gun, and does­n’t stop af­ter she warns him re­peat­ed­ly.

Woman: I’m go­ing to talk to his par­ents! [Stomps to near­by cafe.] Who is re­spon­si­ble for this child?
Par­ent: Sor­ry. What did the lit­tle fuck­er do this time?

–Mar­maris Beach, Turkey

Brit­ney and K‑Fed in Five Years

Drunk moth­er: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk fa­ther: Well, the old­er one can stay up lat­er tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk moth­er: Bri­an­na?
Drunk fa­ther: Who the hell…? I mean, Sab­ri­na.
Drunk moth­er: You’re hold­ing Sab­ri­na.
Drunk fa­ther: Cassie! Send the oth­er two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up lat­er. [Ba­by in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.

–Beach camp­ground, Min­don, On­tario, Cana­dia