Old hairy guy: Welcome to the Pacific Ocean!
Dumb blonde: Huh? The ocean? I thought you said we were going to the beach!
–Beverly Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: please tell me she’s kidding
Archive for the ‘Oregon’ Category
I’m Not Pregnant
Man: I can’t believe how much gas we saved by renting that car instead of taking mine.
Woman: Yeah, but how come you can fart in it, but I can’t smoke?
–Oregon
What Happened to Gray, Windowless Vans?
Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls.
–Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Drewlicious
How They Make the World’s Most Expensive Coffee
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
–Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm
How to Come Out to Your Mom: A Teenager’s Guide
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I’m not sure what you’re asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
In Other Words, She’d Fuck Him Jewish
Dude: You know you’re turning me on, right?
Hootchie: Do you want me to stop?
Dude: No. No, I don’t.
Hootchie: If you didn’t have a girfriend, I’d fuck you so hard you wouldn’t recognize Jesus.
–Newport, Oregon
Overheard by: Sonora
Professional Fluffer?
Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!
–Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Arianne
Fertility Treatment, Economy Version
Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: macdog
If Nominated I Will Not Run, If Elected I Will Not Serve
Crazy lady: I told you, I don’t want to be the goddamn queen of Russia.
–Haystack Rock, Oregon
Overheard by: Luke
Homeschooling: The Dark Side.
Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!
–Seaside, Oregon
